Connection Protection

The college my wife attended many years ago was a small Midwestern campus, maybe twenty buildings in all. Because of the extreme winter temps, the college had the foresight to install tunnels between the primary buildings, allowing for warm, comfortable walks from say, the dorms to the central dining hall. It’s the same concept my wife and I discovered in Nuremberg, Germany last month, only this tunnel complex was on a much larger scale.  And getting from Point A to Point B wasn’t its only intent.

Nuremberg, Germany

You’ll find Nuremberg in the center of Bavaria, the forested southwest region of Germany.  The city served as the final destination on our recent Viking River Cruise on the Danube.  Like Salzburg, Austria a few days before, Nuremberg is known for its “Old City” area (now surrounded by modern-day sprawl).  Once inside those towering protective walls, it’s like you’ve stepped back into the Middle Ages.  If there’s a more preserved city of the period, with its moats, castles, towers, and bridges, I’m not aware of it.

A walking tour of Nuremberg is impressive enough with the history, architecture, and stories, but what trumps everything about it is what lies beneath the city.  My wife and I signed up for an excursion called “Flavors of Nuremberg”, expecting to enjoy a culinary sampling of regional delights.  Indeed we did.  Our first stop was for a plate of Nuremberg’s famous white sausages (with a tall beer to wash them down). This could have been lunch alone, but we pressed on for more.

Our next stop was for Lebkuchen, or gingerbread.  It’s even more famous than the white sausages.  Here are two things to know about Nuremberg gingerbread.  One, it contains no ginger.  Two, it’s not nearly as sweet as its American counterpart (typical).  Okay, let’s add a Three: Lebkuchen is absolutely delicious.  We packed a pile of gingerbread cookies into our suitcases to give to family members (but most of them ended up in our own pantry).

Our final stop – of course -was at a Nuremberg brewery for several glasses of local beer.  But what I wasn’t prepared for was how we would get to our beer  Instead of just walking through the front door of Hausbrauerei Altstadthof, our guide took us to the top of a stone staircase, set right into the middle of a nondescript Nuremberg street.  The stair was surrounded by modest iron rails but otherwise would’ve been something you’d walk by without pause.  Our guide explained how the original brewery was located on this spot centuries ago, marked by a plaque in the street.

What followed might have been my favorite moment of the tour.  Our guide excused himself to “go get the key”, so he could unlock the imposing door at the bottom of the stairs.  The key was held by some nearby merchant and our guide had the credentials to borrow it.  I find that charming, versus typing on a computer keypad or gaining the approval of a German guard.  You just open the door with an old brass key.

Our guide returned, beckoned us down the stairs, opened the door, and away we went.  Or should I say, down we went.  Even after passing through the door fifteen feet below street level, we continued down what must’ve been the equivalent of three more floors of stairs.  Our guide stayed behind to lock the door behind us, so we kind of descended on our own.  The walls closed in and it got darker as we went.  Suddenly beer was the last thing on my mind.

Which way do we go, Mr. Guide sir?

What followed was the equivalent of rats in a maze.  Seriously, if I planned to gulp fresh air or glimpse daylight ever again, I was entirely dependent on the movements of our tour guide over the next forty-five minutes.  He’d turn here or turn there, beckon us down one tunnel or push us through another, and he stopped several times to click on or click off the bare bulbs weakly lighting our way.  We passed through several intersections where we could’ve spun off in half a dozen directions, to be hopelessly lost under the city forever.  We saw what looked like dungeons and prison cells.  Suddenly I really wanted a beer.  Above ground.

Dungeon, or just storage?

Our guide stopped us would-be-spelunkers at several junctures to explain the fascinating history of Nuremberg’s miles-long network of hand-dug tunnels, originally used in the making of beer, then used as the city’s prison, and finally, remarkably, used to hide the thousands of residents the Nazis sought during WWII.  It’s an amazing history I can’t begin to do justice in this post, but you can read more about it here.  Suffice it to say, us tourists had a taste of what it’d be like to live in suddenly protective, seemingly endless tunnels for months on end.  Not for the faint of heart.

Watch your step!

At long last, we carefully ascended another long, irregular staircase, and our guide unlocked the final door at the top, where we burst into the sunshine and fresh air of Hausbrauerei Altstadthof‘s colorful outdoor biergarten.  It was a surreal moment, being thrust back into modern-day civilization from the medieval tunnels below.  The several beers that followed not only quenched my thirst but also calmed my nerves.  This “flavors” city tour was unquestionably the most adventurous excursion of the entire river cruise.

Relief in a glass

There was a time, when we lived in Colorado, where my wife and I considered connecting our house to our nearby barn.  We thought, why not string together a series of shipping containers below ground, to act as a tunnel to keep us warm during the frigid winter months?  After our subterranean tour of Nuremberg, I wondered what we were thinking.  Better to just hoof it through the snow than to get lost in the grounds of Colorado forever.

Land of Flying Cars

My wife and I live in a rural area of Colorado known as the Black Forest.  The high density of Ponderosa Pines in our small geography gives us our name.  Remarkably, there’s only one other notable place on the planet named “Black Forest”: the region near Bavaria in southwest Germany.  As it turns out, I have personal ties to both places, though I’ve never been to the south of Germany.  Follow along as I connect the Forests.

Fill in the blank, “Best Childhood Movie: ________”.  Most of you would respond with an offering from Disney.  Including “Snow White…”, “Mary Poppins”, and “The Little Mermaid”, you’ve already covered sixty years of film-making, with countless other Disney classics in between.  I don’t think I missed a single Disney growing up in the sixties and seventies, yet – go figure – my favorite childhood movie doesn’t come from the Mouse.  It doesn’t even come from my home country.  My childhood choice?  The UK’s “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, based on the 1964 novel by Ian Fleming.

“Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” – the captivating musical about the inventor and his kids who lived in a windmill cottage; about those wonderful-though-not-always-perfect inventions (my favorite: the eggs-toast-sausage breakfast machine); about the candy-maker and the toy-maker and the captivating castle world of Vulgaria; and most importantly about the magical flying motorcar itself – created figments of my imagination like no other movie.  The lyrics to the title song (“…Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, our fine four-fendered friend…”) were burned into my brain.  Someday I vowed to visit the lands of Caractacus Potts and Baron Bomburst.

     

As it turns out, the Potts’ windmill cottage really does exist (and not on a movie set) – as the “Cobstone Windmill” in Buckinghamshire, England. The mansion where “Truly Scrumptious” lived is in the same area of the country.  And the Scrumptious Sweets Company was a working factory in Middlesex (today a steam-engine museum).  But it was the castle and village in Vulgaria I really wanted to see.  Not long after seeing the movie of course, I learned “Vulgaria” was a fictitious country.  Baron Bomburst didn’t actually lord over the land, nor did he ever keep all those children as slaves beneath his castle. But the castle and the village are based on actual places.  The village is Rothenburg ob der Tauber in Bavaria.  The castle is Castle Neuschwanstein, also in Bavaria.  And how ironic; both locations were inspirations for Disney as well: Rothenburg for the village in “Pinocchio”, and Neuschwanstein for the Cinderella castles in the theme parks.

To bring my journey full-circle, Rothenburg, Castle Neuschwanstein, and Bavaria sit in southwest Germany, adjacent to… the Black Forest.  Germany’s version of the Forest is a mountainous land of picturesque villages, castles, vineyards and spas.  This is the region that brought the world Black Forest Ham and “truly scrumptious” Black Forest Cake.  This is the land of glass-making and cuckoo clocks.  From the photos above, it looks every bit as charming as “Vulgaria”.

  

Colorado’s Black Forest barely amounts to a dot on Google Maps.  Within our pines, the “town” is a hodge-podge of nondescript businesses clustered around a couple of traffic signals, with nothing more alluring than a Subway, a post office, and a couple of coffee shops.  The terrain is fairly flat, with no windmill cottages or mountaintop castles or cuckoo clocks.  But it’s a great place to live, with its own unique charm.  And every now and then, when I’m deep in the pines, I’ll start humming that forever-familiar Chitty-Chitty tune, as I gaze up to the skies in search of a flying motorcar.