Seaweed Sarge

With the U.S. Memorial Day holiday in the rear view mirror, the 2023 summer season is officially upon us. According to surveys from American Express Travel, sun-and-fun seekers prefer New York City, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles this year. Las Vegas raises an eyebrow (after all, summer in Sin City is broiler-setting hot) but notice something else: Florida didn’t make the top three. Maybe – no, probably – it’s because Seaweed Sarge is already wreaking havoc on the Sunshine State’s beaches.

Miami Beach

If you don’t know Seaweed Sarge already, it’s because 1) you deliberately avoid the news these days – an increasingly popular trend – or 2) like me, you need a more creative label for sargassum, because it’s a weird name for the seaweed intent on taking over the world.  Sarge is a little intimidating, if only for his size.  Picture him as a belt of algae 5,000 miles long (I can’t picture anything 5,000 miles long, can you?)  Now consider: Sarge will double in size by July, the peak of his “bloom season”.

Sargassum

Sargassum is a particularly annoying form of seaweed.  It’s rootless, which means it can reproduce while simply floating around on the ocean’s surface.  Its rapid growth is bolstered by nutrients leached into rivers and oceans from land-based agriculture.  Once it makes shore sargassum rots immediately, releasing irritating hydrogen sulfide and the stench of rotten eggs.  And trying to remove countless tons of seaweed begs the question: where the heck do you put it all?

Florida’s gonna have to figure out the answer to that last question, and fast.  Sarge is already littering beaches from Ft. Lauderdale to Key West and we’re just getting started.  Come July and August it’ll be virtually impossible to walk along the shoreline.

Ft. Lauderdale

My own visits to the beach have been blissfully Sarge-free.  Most of my sun-and-fun takes place in San Diego, far from Sarge’s primary Atlantic Ocean residence.  The only real nuisances on San Diego beaches are the occasional jellyfish or stingray, and a once-in-a-blue-moon shark sighting (which stirs up more anxiety than actual sightings).  Admittedly, Sarge washes ashore in San Diego as well, but mostly  just here and there as a remnant of off-shore harvesting.  Seaweed does have its upsides, in foods, medicines, and fertilizers.

Ironically, I have fond memories of Sarge as a kid.  He’s built with giant flappy leaves reminiscent of a mermaid’s fishtail.  He’s got countless air sacs to help keep him afloat, which make a popping sound as satisfying as squeezing bubble wrap.  If I’d thought to take pictures back in the day, I could show you Sarge as an adornment to many a childhood sand castle.

It’s time for robots

An army of beach tractors could work all summer in South Florida and barely make a dent in Sarge.  The seasonal maintenance of the single half-mile beach in Key West alone is in the millions of dollars.  But a better solution may be in play.  A prototype robot has been designed to do battle at sea.  “AlgaRay” cruises slowly through the water, hooking tons of Sarge’s strands in a single pass.  Once at capacity, AlgaRay drags Sarge underwater to a depth where all of those air sacs explode.  No longer buoyant, Sarge sinks to the ocean floor; a “watery grave” if you will.  AlgaRay has been likened to a weed-eating Pac-Man or a vacuuming Roomba.  Either image works for me.

Let’s have one more look at those tourist surveys.  One in ten say they’d cancel or reschedule a trip to Florida if they knew Sarge was coming ashore.  Maybe that explains why landlocked Las Vegas ranked #2 on this summer’s most popular U.S. destinations.  Not that Vegas doesn’t have its own threats.  Three years ago a swarm of locusts descended on the Strip, blotting out casino windows and streetlights.  An annual migration of tarantulas passes by in the surrounding desert.  So take your pick: hordes of flying/crawling bugs or a giant mass of inanimate algae.  Maybe Sarge isn’t so bad after all.

Some content sourced from the NPR.org article, “Giant blobs of seaweed are hitting Florida…”

Lifeless Buds

I have a Venus flytrap named Frankie. He lives alone in a plastic cup on the patio table, happy in the humid air as he nabs the occasional bug. My wife’s nearby garden is boasting fruit, vegetables, and colorful blooms but I’m content to just watch my little tabletop carnivore do his thing. I’ll get to why I named my bud “Frankie” in a minute but let me just say this: At least he’s a live little bud. That’s more than a lot of people can say about their more imaginary friends.

“Frankie”

Here’s a morsel of self-discovery for you, extracted from my several years of blog posts.  I have a habit of referring to inanimate objects with terms of endearment.  My most recent example: two weeks ago when I discovered the SpaceX satellites launching into outer space.  I referred to those technological marvels as “little guys who talk to one another”, and, “when their time is done they’ll return home for a proper burial”.  Whether this is just cheap entertainment or an effort to elicit empathy from you readers, I regularly inject life into the lifeless (or in this case, a soul into the metal and mechanical).

“Little Caesar”

I didn’t have to scroll back very far to find other examples.  My post a week before the satellites, Hail, Caesium, endeared of all things, a lost capsule of nuclear waste.  First, I nicknamed the capsule “Little Caesar”.  Then I re-nicknamed it “LC” and noted how detection equipment ultimately “…led the search team right to our little friend”.  Were you more relieved to know the waste had been contained or that our little lost friend had finally been found?

Pine cone “sororities”

Conifer Confetti, a post from last fall, lamented the hours I sacrifice to contain the untold number of pine cones on our property.  I referred to the cones as “females” (because biologically, they really are) and in one frustrated burst of endearment, said “It’s like having the world’s biggest sorority row above my backyard, and every house is about to disgorge its girls for a giant party on the ground”.  So which is it Dave, a whole lot of “yard waste” or thousands of “little ladies”?

The “poor” leftover pieces from the LEGO Grand Piano

Finally, my series of posts on building the LEGO Grand Piano and LEGO Fallingwater were rife with terms of endearment.  All those plastic pieces were like little families bagged up in a single box; couples waiting to be married.  At times I thought I lost “one of the little guys”, and I felt sorry for the leftovers who’d never realize their destiny of being a part of the completed model.

“Cassini” (image courtesy of NASA/JPL)

This topic was inspired by an article in The Atlantic about the spacecraft Cassini.  Six years ago, Cassini completed a 13-year data-gathering cruise around Saturn and its moons.  Utterly alone and running out of fuel, Cassini turned towards the planet, eventually burning up in the atmosphere.  As NASA described the final moments, Cassini “fought to keep its antenna pointed at Earth as it transmitted its farewell”.  An entire room of scientists at Pasadena’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory fell into tears.  Cassini is the perfect example of – big word here  – anthropomorphism.  In simpler terms, the more “alive” a machine appears to be, the more empathetic the response from humans.  Some robots are deliberately anthropomorphic, a subtopic we just don’t have enough words for today.

As I watch Frankie ingest another insect, it’s time to reveal the genesis of his name.  Maybe you don’t remember Frankie Avalon in his prime but you do remember the 1970s movie Grease.  Avalon showed up in a memorable scene, descending a staircase dressed in white while singing “Beauty School Dropout” to Didi Conn’s “Frenchy”.  Guess what?  Avalon had an even bigger hit: VenusThat song is a plea to the goddess of love to bring him romance; someone pretty and very much alive.  Okay, so my Frankie isn’t pretty, but at least he’s alive.  That’s more than I can say about all those other little buds who keep showing up in my blog posts.

Some content sourced from The Atlantic article, “How to Mourn a Space Robot”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Celestial Strings of Pearls

When I take the dog for a walk after dark, I never know what to expect in the night sky above me. We live in an area devoid of city lights so the celestial show is clear and sometimes dramatic. Ursa Major (aka Big Dipper) often makes an appearance. Venus is the brightest star planet low in the western sky at twilight. And the full moon, seemingly biggest as it rises just above the pine trees, can be breathtaking. But none of this prepared me for the bold processional streaking across the heavens last Thursday night.

It could’ve been Santa Claus and his reindeer for all I knew.  Sitting around a backyard fire pit with friends, having drinks and swapping stories, one of the women suddenly shrieked, “LOOK!!!” and pointed skyward.  At first it didn’t register what we were seeing (nor at second, nor at third).  I can only describe it as a tiny string of bright pearls, two or three dozen in the strand, perfectly spaced and moving silently across the sky.  Neither pulling nor pushing, they simply proceeded in a line as if drawn to some unknown destination.  It almost looked like the one-after-another cars of a roller coaster, heading up that first steep incline.

Our group was at a loss to explain this extraterrestrial.  We thought it might be the neatly arranged contrails of a stealth fighter.  Or some faraway electronic billboard advertising in Morse code (only with dots, no dashes).  Turns out we weren’t even close.  Our little alien spacecraft parade was the latest launch of Starlink satellites from SpaceX.

You’ve probably heard of SpaceX, even if you don’t know much about what they do.  Founded in 2002, SpaceX is one of Elon Musk’s ambitious companies, with the “modest” long-term goal of colonizing Mars.  While they design and launch the spacecraft to make that happen, SpaceX is providing Starlink Internet service to under-served areas of the globe by building a “constellation” of satellites around the planet.  42,000 of them.

This is technology way beyond my understanding, but here’s the basic setup.  A transmitter somewhere on earth sends the Internet up to one of those satellites and the satellite then rebounds the signal back to you.  If the satellite loses your direct line of sight, it can hand off the signal to one of its buddies and your Internet service continues uninterrupted.  SpaceX earned the license for a ten-year window – starting in 2019 – to complete its Starlink constellation.  At last count they’ve already got 4,000 of these little guys in orbit.

Starlink satellite

Credit Musk for identifying a market in need.  Mars may not be on my bucket list but faster Internet service certainly is.  Two years ago 10,000 Earthlings signed up for Starlink subscriptions (at $599 USD for the hardware and $120/month for the service). Today? Fully 1.5 million customers are bouncing data back and forth with all those satellites.  My rural location here in South Carolina (and the s-l-o-w speed of my current Internet provider) make me a prime Starlink candidate.  Later this year, I’ll also be able to switch over my cell phone service.  Yep, Elon Musk is literally taking over the planet.  Come to think of it, maybe the entire solar system.

A “string of pearls” before the satellites go their separate ways

Whether or not I subscribe to Starlink, I find the satellite technology fascinating.  We have a lot of “space junk” circling Earth but this constellation of man-made stars seems more elegant.  They’re launched in strings of up to 60, separating once they’re high enough. Each satellite’s thruster is powered by krypton and argon.  They talk to one another to avoid collisions.  They’re currently undergoing “dimming” to appease astronomers by taking a back seat to the real stars in space.  Finally, these satellites can “de-orbit”.  In other words, when they’re time is done (even satellites don’t live forever), they return home for a proper burial, which means burning up entirely as they attempt reentry through Earth’s atmosphere.

Starlink satellites x 42,000

Several websites track the continuing launches of Starlink satellite strings (like this one).  You can find out exactly when they’ll be passing overhead in your neighborhood, destined for their rightful place in the budding constellation.  If you see them stream by, remember, it’s not Santa and his reindeer (wrong month).  It’s a string of pearls designed to provide you with faster Internet service.

Some content sourced from Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Hail, Caesium!

I acquired a taste for Caesar salad later in life. After decades of boring lettuce/tomato and franchise salad bars, I learned to branch out a little. Caesar, with its romaine, croutons, Parmesan, and distinctive dressing, has become my go-to at restaurants. But I always double-check my “hold the anchovies, please” because even a thimbleful would put a damper on things. Kind of like caesium-137.

Small but mighty

You probably don’t know much about caesium.  Pronounce it just like the salad (or like “seize” in Seize the day!).  Caesium-137 is a nasty little byproduct of nuclear fission, deadly enough to turn your life into a… uh, half-life with just a brief introduction.  So here’s the story of the little caesium capsule – a.k.a. Little Caesar – that could get away, and did.

It’s a simple enough task, really.  Transport an item from Point A to Point B, like the new washing machine we just had delivered from Home Depot.  But let’s make the job a little more challenging, shall we?  The distance you have to travel shall be almost 900 miles.  The journey itself shall be on the oft-barren Great Northern Highway of Western Australia, which isn’t always the smoothest of rides.  Finally, transport a potentially lethal substance… without dropping it.

“Little Caesar” was t-i-n-y

You’d think radioactive caesium-137 – no matter how small an amount – would be literally welded into the delivery truck it rides in.  Instead, the pill-sized capsule – already parked inside the density gauge equipment it was a part of, was placed in a “package”, then attached to the truck with four mounting bolts.

Now then, imagine you’ve just completed the long and boring four-day drive to the nuclear waste treatment facility in Perth.  You hop off the truck, walk around to the back, open the doors, and discover not only a broken gauge and a missing mounting bolt, but no caesium-137 capsule.  In fact, the delivery truck wasn’t even inspected until nine days after arrival.

This scenario raises a half-life of questions for me.  First, just how bumpy was that Great Northern Highway?  Second, even if the gauge broke open and the capsule got loose, how the heck did it escape, not only out of the package but out of the entire truck?  Finally, we’re talking about lethal goods here.  Wouldn’t some sort of alarm go off if Little Caesar skipped town?  I’m guessing someone is answering these kinds of questions as we speak, and his/her seat is a little warm.

The fearless search committee

imagine being a member of the ad hoc search-and-rescue crew.  Not only are you looking for something that can kill you just by being in close proximity, it’s the proverbial needle in the haystack, only the needle is the size of a paper clip and the haystack is a highway longer than the coast of California.  No matter, you’re handed a radiation detection device, the keys to a truck with flashing hazard lights, and off you go.  Oh, and by the way, you can’t go faster than 30 mph or your detector can’t do its job.

This isn’t the first unintended release of Little Caesar.  He escaped in much larger quantities from the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in 1986 and from Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi plant in 2011.  You can read about nine other incidents involving “LC” here, including one in Seattle four years ago and one in Thailand in March.

At the time I saved this story in January, Little Caesar was still at large.  Worst-case scenarios were running rampant.  What if LC bounced to freedom on a populated area of the highway?  What if a hiker happened upon the capsule and threw it into his or her backpack before returning home?  Or, God forbid, what if a bird snatched the capsule in its beak and transported it to its nest in the middle of downtown Perth?

LC was hiding here

Three months later (this week), I caught up with this story.  The run-of-the-mill conclusion is that Little Caesar was found just six days after his escape, off the highway in a remote area not far from the truck’s point of departure.  The radiation detection equipment sounded the alarm and led the search team right to our little friend.

A close-up of the escapee

As for what happened once LC was found?  A 20-meter “hot zone” was set up around him to fend off the inevitable lookie-loos.  He was given a thick casing of lead in case he was feeling “radiant”.  Finally, Little Caesar was scheduled to be transported to the county health facility for further examination.  Yes, I said “transported”.  No word on whether or not he made it to his final destination.

Some content sourced from the ABC News article “Missing radioactive capsule found in WA outback after frantic search”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Games of the Travel Gods

Blondie is the trend-setting American rock band from the 1970’s. A blondie is also a rich vanilla dessert bar. But just for today, Blondie is the newspaper comic strip that, remarkably, still runs after 92 years. Blondie is the female lead and Dagwood is her food-loving husband. Which brings me to today’s topic. A Dagwood is a tall, multi-layered sandwich… the perfect image for my travel nightmare from last Friday.

It all started with a bridge.  Make that seventeen bridges.  As my wife and I were motoring mid-morning towards the Charlotte airport, en route to my niece’s wedding in Los Angeles, the Maps app colored the interstate yellow here and there.  No big deal; traffic slowed, then quickly started up again.  All of a sudden, middle of nowhere, we came to a complete stop.  Five minutes passed without movement.  Ten.  When I finally looked down at the Map app twenty minuets later, our section of the interstate was colored black.  Wait, black?  Never seen that color before.

My car is somewhere beyond the vanishing point

For future reference, Map app black means “not an option” (or better still, “you’re dead”).  Five miles of the upcoming interstate were closed off for nine days to repair all those bridges.  We didn’t “eye-spy” so much as a detour sign before we joined the monstrous backup.  When cars began leaking into the grass median and making U-turns, I sensed the presence of the travel gods, selecting a dawdling pawn for their vicious game.

Heading back the way we came, the first detour we encountered was the same idea as a hundred other drivers.  The off-ramp was backed up forever.  Instead, we continued miles further, finally exiting onto a two-lane highway to what can only be described as a drive through the backwoods of the back country of America’s uh… backside.  Tight little curvy roads sprouting driveways to nowhere, bars with bars on the windows, churches with desperate Easter pleas like “It’s not about the Bunny, it’s about the Lamb”, and one-stop-sign towns you really don’t want to stop in.  Eventually we emerged unscathed (physically, not mentally), flung back to a point on the interstate that wasn’t colored Map app black.

The travel clock ticks faster now.  When the travel gods remind you bags must be checked forty-five minutes before departure, beads of sweat start to pop.  The Dagwood sandwich gains another layer.

Our daughter (who I now refer to as “GPS Goddess”) expertly phone-guided us all the way into the Charlotte Airport hourly parking garage ($24 USD/day), where she offered a not-so-confident “you’ll make it” before hanging up.  And so we dashed, from one end of the garage to the other, down the elevator, across the lanes of buses and taxis, through the under-construction section of the terminal sidewalk, finally bursting through the sliding doors to the American Airlines self check-in kiosks to declare our victory.  Which was premature.

Just like the black of the Map app, I’ve never seen a self check-in kiosk dispense a piece of paper saying “See Counter Agent”.  Uh-oh.  Sure enough, we missed the deadline to check luggage.  Our bags were also too big to gate check or they would’ve pushed us through.  I thought we were done.

But at the ticket counter, I deflected phrases like “You can’t travel without your luggage, sir” or “We’re not finding any other flight options, sir” with “I have faith in you, American Airlines!” and “You can do this!”, and darned it they didn’t find an itinerary to get this “sir” (and his “ma’am”) to Los Angeles.  Through Boston.  Uh, sorry miss, isn’t Boston taking us in the wrong direction?  She told me not to argue.  Add another layer to the sandwich.

Cut to the Charlotte boarding gate.  Flight to Boston delayed.  Then again.  Then again.  In a phrase that sounds comical (just not at the time), the gate agent calmly informed passengers “the control tower can’t seem to locate our flight crew”.  But then they did, then we boarded, and suddenly we’re flying to Boston… knowing we have, oh, ten minutes to catch our connection once we land.

For the record, you can make a connecting flight in Boston in ten minutes.  You need five of those minutes to let the achingly slow passengers in front of you deplane.  You need the other five minutes to hustle down the concourse (ignoring the bathrooms that beckon for good reason), cursing the loudspeaker blasting your name with “Flight XXX to Los Angeles, this is your final call.  We’re about to close the doors”.

Which is exactly what the gate agents did, right behind us as we sprinted down the jetway, but not before shouting, “Don’t worry, your baggage has a much better chance of making the connection than you do!”  [Wrong.  Turns out only one of our bags made the flight.  The other would arrive (mercifully) the next morning, just in time to change into wrinkled formalwear before the wedding.]

Hoping I looked more like the guy on the left

On the Boston-Los Angeles flight, sitting in the very last row (where you meet/greet every single passenger headed to the bathroom) I let out a slow breath and assessed the good and bad of our whirlwind journey.  The good: we’d make the wedding after facing a dozen trip-blocks.  The bad: the Boston-LA flight ended up having to go wide-right over Canada to avoid some nasty weather in the Midwest.  Add an hour to an already long, seriously turbulent flight.  We could’ve headed the other direction and made it to Ireland in less time.

In total, the travel gods played their game for twenty-one hours, leaving us bleary-eyed by the time we walked into the wedding venue the next afternoon.  (Hey, at least they got married.  After all, the wedding was on April Fools’ Day.  A no-show at the altar would’ve been just another layer on the sandwich.)

Here’s a little Blondie trivia.  Dagwood was the heir to the Bumstead locomotive fortune, but when he married Blondie the deal was off.  I didn’t know that.  I only knew about his namesake – the tall, multi-layered sandwich.  Otherwise I might’ve thought to take the train to Los Angeles instead.

Some content sourced from Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Advert Converts

Texting while driving has quickly become the norm, at least in U.S. states where it continues to be legal. Not a day goes by where I’m not witness to a slow or erratic driver, the annoying behavior the direct result of a smartphone. My car horn gets a regular punch, reminding drivers, “HEY… the light just turned green!” All of which makes the notion of billboards as a driving distraction almost obsolete.

Like most things, billboards had their young and innocent days.  They popped up on interstates and major thoroughfares almost as soon as cars themselves did; bright, colorful advertisements meant to plant seeds in driver brains for future purchases.  At last count there were over 350,000 billboards in America alone.

Unlike smartphones however, billboards earn nothing but a passing glance as you speed by.  Their images and words are simple by design so you “get the picture” in an instant.  A few scientific studies went to great lengths to prove billboards increased the potential for accidents. Others showed they really had no impact at all.  Whichever is true, billboards stubbornly continue a part of the urban landscape.

But no matter how I spin this topic, we’re just talking about a straightforward means of advertising.  What’s so interesting about that, you ask?  Well, let me tell you.

Consider the lifespan of a billboard.  The artwork is created on a smaller scale, reproduced to billboard size (previously by hand, now by computer), mounted up high on a roadside frame, and then allowed to distract drivers for months.  But eventually the billboard comes back down and you’re left with 700 square feet of heavy-duty used vinyl.  What now – off to the dump?

Not if you’re Rareform.  This company converts adverts into bags, totes, and duffles.  You can purchase anything from a travel surfboard bag to a soft-sided cooler, all fashioned from billboard vinyl.  You can even buy a cross-body bag for your laptop, with a cushy interior made of recycled water bottles.  Talk about “walking advertisements”, eh?

“Billboard” notebook

I really admire people who think outside of the box (because I find it so much more comfortable inside).  Rareform thinks outside of the board.  They brokered deals with advertising agencies for the used vinyl, hired cleaners, designers, sewers, and photographers to produce their one-of-a-kind products, and then created a website to bring it all to you.  As Rareform’s founders put it, “We’re in the business of change… and we believe billboards deserve a second chance.”  Considering they stock over 50,000 unique re-creations in their warehouse, I’d say they’re on to something.

A billboard can be a cooler if it wants to be

Billboards never really caught my eye until now.  Sure, I enjoy their creative advertising tactics, like using several billboards spread out over a mile or two, each one containing part of a message about a business you’ll find off the next off-ramp.  Or how about the ones like Chick-fil-A’s, with three-dimensional characters in front of the boards?  In 2010 in North Carolina, you could find a billboard of a giant, juicy steak with a big fork sticking out of it, emitting the scent of black pepper and charcoal.  Ready to grill?

Today’s billboards, of course, have gone digital.  You can pack a rotation of advertisements into the same space where there used to be one.  On broadcasts of Major League Baseball, you’ll see advertisements on the walls behind home plate as the camera shows the pitcher’s view of the batter.  Those advertisements aren’t really in the ballpark;  they’ve just been digitally applied back in the television studio.

Times Square is full of billboards

None of these billboard tricks impress me like the one Rareform conjured up.  I mean, what kind of brain looks at a billboard and goes “Hey, that could be a fashionable bag one day!”  Not my brain.  Rareform not only diverts tons of vinyl from landfills, it then puts it to practical re-use.  Makes me want to dumpster-dive my garbage can out back to see if I can come up with a trash rehash of my own.

Some content sourced from the Rareform website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Making An Entrance

My son will complete the purchase of his first house next week. We’ve helped him mull over properties the last few months, scrutinizing everything from floor plans to foundations. But I always focus on whether a house has a formal entry or not. There’s something about a foyer that feels essential to me, as if to say, “Welcome!”.  Apple must’ve felt the same way when they designed their flagship store in New York City. Welcome to Apple Fifth Avenue.

Apple Fifth Avenue

If you’ve been to an Apple Store (and who am I kidding here; we’ve all been to an Apple Store), you know they’re essentially a room of tables and shelves. You’re greeted up front, asked what brings you in, and directed to wherever you need to go. Apple Fifth Avenue, on the other hand, needs no greeters.  Its dramatic foyer beckons you in all by itself.

Apple Fifth Avenue’s entry is a 32 ft. glass cube dropped into the middle of a plaza in downtown Manhattan.  The adjacent skyscrapers make the transparent structure stand out even more.  There’s no signage whatsoever; simply a large, suspended Apple logo inviting you to descend the elevator or elegant spiral staircase to the store itself (which is entirely below ground).  It’s the same strategy employed by the Louvre in Paris, with its above-ground glass pyramid serving as the entrance to the museum’s lobby below.

Plaza skylights and “lenses”

Without this entry I’m not sure Apple Fifth Avenue’s design would garner much attention, yet there are other elements worth noting.  The surrounding plaza is dotted with 62 frosted skylights, bringing welcome natural light to the retail space below.  The plaza also hosts 18 “lenses” – reflective steel shells with glass tops – to give you peeks downstairs.  In the store itself you’ll find several (real) trees, with seating incorporated into their circular planters.

Planters double as seating

Apple Fifth Avenue became so popular a destination that secondary entrances were added (two staircases in the plaza) and the square footage of the store itself was doubled.

One of the more interesting stories behind Apple Fifth Avenue’s design concerned the size of the entry.  CEO Steve Jobs wanted a 40-ft. cube while the property owner insisted on 30.  To bridge the gap, a full-scale mock-up was created and placed in the plaza for Apple executives to see.  The problem: Apple didn’t want to draw the attention of the public any more than they had to.  So the mock-up was installed for just a couple of hours at 2 a.m. on a random weekday.  When a 40-ft. cube was deemed too large (sorry, Steve), it was quickly disassembled to reveal a smaller cube inside – the size of the one you enter today.

It’s about time I included a NYC building in my posts on architecture, wouldn’t you agree?  New Yorkers know I had plenty of choices, like the Empire State Building, Waldorf Astoria Hotel, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, and Grand Central Station.  But those have been around a long time.  Apple Fifth Avenue opened its doors less than twenty years ago, and is already in the top sixty on the list of America’s Favorite Architecture.

As I recall the houses we looked at with my son, some had no foyer whatsoever.  You walked across the threshold and found yourself standing in the front room or living room.  That’s no way to make an entrance, is it?  Apple knows better.  At most of their stores you get a greeter.  At Apple Fifth Avenue you get a full-on welcome. 

Now for the latest on LEGO Fallingwater…

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LEGO Fallingwater – Update #10 (Read how this project got started in Perfect Harmony)

We’ve placed the very last brick into place, closing the assembly manual on our ten-week construction of LEGO Fallingwater.  92 pages (or 100%, or 222 minutes) into the build, here is the final product:

LEGO Fallingwater

The angle of this photo is intended to match the photo above so you can compare the model to the real thing.  I want to label the model “crude” but how about “rudimentary” instead?  The intricacies of LEGO models have come a long way since this one.

A note about missing pieces.  As I worked through the final steps I realized a handful of pieces were missing.  I write this off to a less-than-perfect mechanism doling out the pieces for each model (or was this done by hand?)  The LEGO Grand Piano wasn’t missing a single piece out of 3,000+.  The gaps aren’t obvious at a glance so we can still call Fallingwater complete.  Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Now for one last nod to Frank Lloyd Wright…

Oak Park Home & Studio

It’s fitting to finish where it all began.  Wright’s first design (of which he was the sole architect) was his own home, built just west of Chicago in 1889.

Frank Lloyd Wright Home & Studio, Oak Park, IL

The house’s style, “Seaside Colonial” (borrowing from similar designs on the East Coast) was Wright’s first experiment with the Prairie Style elements that would later come together in so many of his other designs.  The exterior is grounded with brick and stone while the interior has a largely open floor plan.  The barrel-vaulted playroom was built on a smaller scale; a deliberate nod to its young occupants.

Barrel-vaulted playroom

The rapid success of Wright’s architecture practice allowed for the expansion of the house a few years later, including the large octagonal structure you see on the left (for drafting studios, offices, a library, and a reception hall).  Wright wore all the design hats on this project, including the mechanical systems, lighting, furniture, and decor.

Wright’s Oak Park Home & Studio is a National Historic Landmark and is open to the public.  Even better, you can take a walking tour through the nearby neighborhoods to see ten houses he designed that still stand today.

Some content sourced from the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

All Manor of Reflection

I find music boxes enchanting, especially the small glass cases where you can watch the cylinder spin its tune like a lazy water wheel. It’s as if someone opened the top, held it up to the wind, and captured a simple melody floating by. Maybe this is why I find the concept of a glass church so appealing. Welcome to California’s Crystal Cathedral.

Crystal Cathedral, Garden Grove, CA

Whether or not you liked Phillip Johnson’s Glass House from a couple of posts ago (survey says “not”), you’ll concede he was creative in his use of glass.  The Crystal Cathedral is, by far, his most impressive example.  When it was constructed in 1980, it was immediately dubbed the largest glass church in the world.  By a mile.

Schuller standing in the “cheap seats”

Johnson designed the Cathedral (partnering with architect John Burgee) for Dr. Robert Schuller.  Rev. Schuller was a televangelist in the 1970s, beginning his ministry by preaching to carloads from atop the refreshment stand of a Southern California drive-in theater.  The proceeds of his Sunday morning “Hour of Power” financed the Cathedral, on a property Schuller called a “22-acre shopping center for Jesus Christ”.  As for the building itself, Schuller declared, “If a two-by-four comes between your eyeball and the changing edge of a cloud, something is lost”.  Hence, he demanded a glass church.

The Crystal Cathedral is impressive enough to look at from the surrounding parking lot; a flattened diamond floor plan covered with 10,000 rectangle panels of glued-on mirrored glass.  But walk inside – and believe me, it’s a walk – passing beneath the floating bleachers of pews and choir lofts into the explosion of the sanctuary itself, and you’ll understand why the Cathedral really “shines”.  The space is so vast that – like some of today’s enclosed football stadiums – you’ll swear you’re still outside.

The Crystal Cathedral is a glass music box of sorts.  Its organ is the fifth-largest in the world, with 16,000 pipes.  Its choir numbers into the hundreds of voices.  Needless to say, the church service needs to be grand to satisfy a room of 2,500 parishioners.

As much as I prefer a modest venue for worship, I can appreciate the megachurch approach if it’s done with a modicum of grace.  I’m not sure this is the case with the Crystal Cathedral.  Down the center aisle you’ll find a long reflecting pool, spotted with gushing fountains that suddenly cease when Schuller appears at the pulpit.  A pair of towering “Cape Canaveral” doors behind the altar swing open, so Schuller can give a wave and a prayer to the masses parked outside.  And in a full-on nod to Broadway, the Cathedral’s annual “Glory of Christmas” pageant includes a smoke machine for storm simulations, seven flying angels, and scores of live animals (everything from camels to water buffaloes).  Should this surprise me, in the cavernous glass box of a world-famous televangelist?

The Crystal Cathedral is open to the public… er, if you’re willing to take in a Catholic Mass while you’re at it.  Schuller’s Reformed Church ministry filed for bankruptcy in 2010 (in part because of the overwhelming operating costs of the facility).  Schuller himself died in 2015.  Soon after, the local Catholic diocese purchased the property at a deep discount and renamed it “Christ Cathedral”.  I hope the fountains, spaceship doors, and Broadway shows have taken a break since then.  After all, the building itself is ample reason for reflection.

Now for the latest on LEGO Fallingwater…

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LEGO Fallingwater – Update #9 (Read how this project got started in Perfect Harmony)

We worked off-model again this week, on the house itself, assembling one floor at a time before everything comes together.  80 pages (or 88%, or 203 minutes) into the build, this is what we have:

It’s convenient to halt the construction for this photo, because you can see the individual floors before they’re stacked together and hidden.  The level in the foreground is the bottom story, with the living room in back and smooth decks in front and to the right.  The other level is the middle story, a bedroom with smaller balconies to the left and right.

Next week I’ll assemble the top (and final) level, a “gallery” whose use was as much for the surrounding views as for the interior space.  Then I’ll stack the floors together, insert them into the open space you see to the right of the glass tower, and our Fallingwater model will finally be complete.

Tune in next Thursday as construction continues!  Now for another nod to Frank Lloyd Wright…

Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church

Since we toured a cathedral today, it seems only fitting we acknowledge one of Wright’s handful of religious structures.  Wauwatosa, Wisconsin’s Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church was one of his last designs, not completed until after his death in 1959.  Wright consulted his wife (who was raised in the faith) on its important symbols.  Accordingly, the dome and the Greek cross play significantly in the building design.  The structural arches and pillars reflected on the exterior allow the sanctuary to be an uninterrupted circular space.  The dome is not as you would imagine the interior to be, but rather the cap on an inverted dome, reflecting as a sort of bowl suspended above the sanctuary.

Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church

Lest you think Annunciation Church is a bit of a spaceship, the design intentionally pulls elements from its more famous predecessor, Hagia Sophia mosque in Istanbul, Turkey.  Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church is included on America’s National Register of Historic Places.

Some content sourced from Johnson/Burgee: Architecture, the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Pandora’s Box

When America’s cities bred lifeless glass-and-steel skyscrapers in the 1960s, an architectural movement was born known as postmodernism. “Postmod” buildings were bold reactions to their dull and repetitive counterparts, using more distinctive materials and brighter colors. Perhaps no better example (or context) exists than in the city government offices of Portland, OR. Welcome to the Portland Building.

Michael Graves’ “Portland Building”

Every structure I’ve covered in my recent posts on architecture lands on the American Institute of Architects’ America’s Favorite Architecture list.  Even Phillip Johnson’s Glass House – the one I have a love/hate relationship with – makes the cut.  But not the Portland Building.  This may be architect Michael Graves’ signature design but it’s also known as “the building we love to hate”.

Take a good look at the Portland Building photo and tell me what comes to mind.  Christmas gift?  Child’s transformer toy?  Strawberry-chocolate cake?  I suggest Pandora’s box.  I studied the Portland Building in college because the construction was completed in 1982, in the third year of my degree.  It was a landmark statement of postmod.  It was also a disaster from the day its doors opened.

Architects don’t always consider the practical aspects of a building, and budgets sometimes compromise on essentials.  As soon as the city’s employees moved in, they realized the tiny windows don’t bring in much natural light, and the lack of adequate ventilation made it something of a hot box.  Of greater concern, the Portland Building ran into water infiltration and structural issues almost immediately.  The building required the first of several remodels only eight years after its construction, even though the city commissioners would’ve preferred it demolished instead.  Like Pandora’s box, the Portland Building seemed to be an endless font of bad news.

“Portlandia”

There’s not much to say about the Portland Building to entice you to visit (not even the rather bizarre 6.5-ton copper female poised menacingly above the entrance).  The building is surrounded by blocks of nondescript skyscrapers, which makes the design all the more jaw-dropping when you see it in person.  The only vote of confidence might’ve come from Portland’s mayor himself when it opened.  He proclaimed the building “Portland’s Eiffel Tower… an emblem of the city which will draw the curious from around the world”.

The “goddess” seems to wonder why you’d even enter the building.

The negative commentary is much more fun.  A columnist from a local paper described the Portland Building as “something designed by a Third World dictator’s mistress’ art-student brother.”  Architect Pietro Belluschi said “it’s not architecture, it’s packaging… and there are only two good things about it: it will put Portland on the map, architecturally, and it will never be repeated.”  Travel + Leisure magazine called it “one of the most hated buildings in America”.  Need I say more?

Fish out of water?

The Portland Building is a case study of noteworthy architecture, yes… but that may be its only upside.  The difference between “attractive” and “atrocious” can be as wide as the Grand Canyon.  There’s value in whether you “like” a building.  There’s also a reason you won’t find many other postmodernist structures in Portland.

Now for the latest on LEGO Fallingwater…

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LEGO Fallingwater – Update #8  (Read how this project got started in Perfect Harmony)

Today the off-model structure finally settled into the base, in a brisk twelve minutes of assembly time.  70 pages (or 77%, or 181 minutes) into the build, this is what we have:

As you can see on the left, the house is starting to rise rather dramatically from the underlying landscape and water.  Check out the photo above to understand the vertical glassed-in area that rises from the bottom of the house all the way to the top.

Boring as the build has been these last few weeks, I realize the underlying structure is necessary to support Fallingwater’s distinctive concrete balconies and stone chimneys.  I also realize I have only two weeks remaining on this project.  No wonder the piles of remaining pieces are dwindling!  And rudimentary as those pieces may be, I expect the last two chapters to really bring the house into its fullest presentation.

Tune in next Thursday as construction continues!  Now for another nod to Frank Lloyd Wright…

Taliesin West

Most of Wright’s life (and designs) took place in America’s Midwest, but at some point the architect visited Arizona and later created the winter getaway he described as his “desert utopia”.  Taliesin West is a campus of buildings, constructed of local materials intent on blending in with the surroundings – rock, sand, redwood; even canvas for the roofs.  The structures are low and horizontal, connected organically by walkways, terraces, and gardens.   The furniture and decor were also designed by Wright.

Taliesin West

Is there a Taliesin East, you ask?  Of course there is!  Wright’s primary estate was built in the Wisconsin River valley on one of his favorite boyhood hills.

But over the years, Taliesin West has gained the most notoriety.  What was once Wright’s winter residence, studio, and offices is now a National Historic Landmark and a museum to the man.  Taliesin West serves as the home of the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation and School of Architecture, and is open daily for tours.

Some content sourced from the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Don’t Throw Stones

Back in Colorado where we used to live, there was a house down the street – a new build – where you walked through the front door, crossed a narrow hallway, and immediately found yourself outside again on a terrace.  The design was intentional (thanks to stunning views of Pikes Peak), encouraging outdoor living as much as indoor.  It’s a design principle rooted in one of America’s most famous residences.  Welcome to New Canaan, Connecticut’s Glass House.

Imagine a classroom assignment where you’re asked to create a pizza.  You choose whatever toppings and seasonings you like, the pizza’s shape and size, and the means to bake it.  But there’s a catch: You can’t use a crust.  Somehow you’d still put it together, right?  Maybe that’s how architect Phillip Johnson approached his design of The Glass House back in 1949.  It’s got windows and doors, a roof, rooms, and furniture, just like any other house; just no walls.

Okay, The Glass House has walls, of course, but their transparency is meant to throw the concept of “house” for a major loop.

As a student of architecture, I have a love/hate relationship with The Glass House.  My first thought when I learned about it was, “I hate it.  It’s just a steel and glass box.  And everything I’d do in there would be on display for all the world to see.  Everything“.

But like important works of art, the more you study The Glass House the more you appreciate all that it has to offer.  You notice the fully open floor plan (bathroom aside), suggesting “rooms” can be defined by furniture or floor coverings, not just walls.  Its transparency invites the outdoors in (whether or not you open the glass door on each of its four sides), suggesting the experience of “home” can go well beyond the walls.  Finally, The Glass House boldly declares that less is more, meaning life in the dozen rooms of a McMansion pales in comparison to a cohesive collection of just three or four.

[Architect’s Note: “Less is more” is a famous mantra in architecture circles, coined by American architect Mies van der Rohe (of whom Phillip Johnson was a disciple).  Marie Kondo might come to mind as well.]

Am I a fan of the harsh German glasarchitektur style of The Glass House?  No.  Would I want to live in such a house?  Absolutely not.  Yet I must admit, its concept of indoor-outdoor living (which has inspired countless residential designs since) is intriguing.  It’s what makes Fallingwater such a captivating design.  Furthermore, the siting of The Glass House puts to rest any concerns I had about privacy, since it’s nestled within fifty acres of open landscape.

The Glass House, as you might expect, is in America’s National Trust for Historic Preservation, and open to visitors through guided property tours.  As the famous saying goes, “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”.  I’m pretty sure Phillip Johnson didn’t throw any.  After all, The Glass House was where he made his home for over fifty years.

Now for the latest on LEGO Fallingwater…

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LEGO Fallingwater – Update #7  (Read how this project got started in Perfect Harmony)

Today we spent entirely “off-model” again, building up the structure you see in front.  60 pages (or 66%, or 169 minutes) into the build, this is what we have:

This week’s photo should look virtually identical to last week’s, because all I did was add layers to the “house” in front (which doesn’t look at all like a house).  The only excitement was adding that balcony jutting out in the left rear corner.

I’ve bored you again with the model update, so here’s a poetic quote instead, from Wright himself about designing Fallingwater:

“The visit to the waterfall in the woods stays with me and a domicile has taken vague shape in my mind to the music of the stream… this structure might serve to indicate that the sense of shelter… has no limitations as to form except the materials used and the methods by which they are employed…”

Tune in next Thursday as construction continues!  Now for another nod to Frank Lloyd Wright…

Wingspread

The last of Wright’s Prairie Style houses may have the most creative name.  “Wingspread” was designed and built in 1937 in Racine, WI for the SC Johnson family, for whom Wright also designed his more famous Johnson Wax administration building nearby.

Wingspread is a sprawling pinwheel plan, with each of its single-story arms serving a different purpose.  The central octagon is three stories high.  Wingspread is full of fireplaces (five), but more of interest is Wright’s accommodation of requests by the Johnson children.  For them he added a Juliet balcony bedroom and a crow’s nest.  Let it also be known Wright had an occasional bit of fun with his designs.  Wingspread contains a disappearing dining table and a great room clerestory ceiling inspired by the look of a teepee.

“Juliet” balcony

Wingspread has been converted into a conference center today, but is open for tours by reservation.

Some content sourced from The Glass House website, the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.