Fill ‘er Up

Several years ago at a banquet, I stood at the podium to introduce the evening’s guest speaker. After sharing some of her background and accomplishments, I went with the expected, “So without further ado, please welcome”…, and then I paused. And paused some more. I’d forgotten the speaker’s name. The silence, as the saying goes, was deafening. Eventually I found her name in my notes, but not without an uncomfortable gap in my speech. Perhaps a filler word would’ve smoothed things over.

Do you use filler words?  Actually, let’s make that question a statement.  You use filler words.  Every now and then in conversation you’ll throw in the occasional “uh”, “like”, or “so”.  Filler words do exactly what their label implies: they fill up the awkward gap of silence created by a pause.  Every one of us can recall an experience where we’ve left out filler words in a vain attempt to keep the polish on our speech, but it’s a no-win situation.  If you go with the pause your audience looks at each other with one of those Is he okay? glances.  If you go with a filler word you’re hinting you’re not completely on top of your material.

The parade of filler words is much longer than the commoners I mentioned above.  The filler “uh” comes from its own family, including “um”, “oh”, “er”, and “ah”; tiny signs of reluctance to say whatever comes next.  And speaking of next, how about “very”, “really”, and “highly”?  These three are fillers disguised as words of emphasis but are usually superfluous.  Then we have “You know…” and “You see…”, which seem to politely draw the listener into the conversation.  But sorry, they’re also fillers, allowing a pause at the start of a thought.  Finally (as if there’s an end to this parade), let’s add “I guess” and “I suppose”, both designed to soften a response when what you should go with instead is a confident “yes” or “no”.

I deliberately skipped one filler here because it deserves it’s own parade.  “Like” sprinted to the front and center of casual English in the last couple of generations, taking up a lot of the spaces “uh” and his pals used to fill.  Some people use “like” so often it starts to feel like every other word they’re saying.  But make no mistake – every “like” is simply a mini-pause to allow the speaker to reboot their thoughts.

Watch out, because filler words can be contagious.  I used to work for a company where it seemed every one of my teammates couldn’t start a sentence without the word “So”.  Somehow “so” sounds a little smoother than “uh” but it’s basically the same filler.  Before I knew it I caught myself also using “so”, as if it was the only way to start a sentence.  At least “so” has a built-in bonus: you can drag it out for drama.  So-o-o-o-o…

Filler words somehow sound better with a foreign accent.  The Irish “um” sounds like the more pleasing ehm.  Even throwing in a bunch of “you knows” in the Irish accent seems to work.  And speaking of accents, Hollywood (or maybe just Los Angeles) brought us Valley Girl talk, which includes a weird form of attitude along with its own set of meaningless filler words like “totally”, “whatever”, and “as if” (think Cher from Clueless).  Valley Girl talk has had a remarkable run considering its roots were in the 1980s.  You still hear the words today.

The next time you call out a friend with Hello? Is anybody home? for not paying attention, consider they’re trying to avoid filler words by simply not saying anything.  That’s harder to do than it sounds.  Try speaking for a few minutes without filler words.  It’s so difficult it’s birthed a string of funny videos on TikTok.  As for me, I’ll keep using my fillers wherever I need them.  Especially when I forget the name of a guest speaker.

Some content sourced from the CNN Health article, “Should you stop saying ‘um’?  Here’s what the experts said”.

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Author: Dave

Five hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

32 thoughts on “Fill ‘er Up”

  1. It takes some discipline to skip those words. I’ve done a lot of public speaking and it can be difficult to just let a little silence in. However, I have been known to go to meetings and start every sentence with “so” just to be annoying and get kicked out early.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post, as I just went through something similar. I was leaving a friend a voice mail wishing her a happy new year when I completely forgot her husband’s name, so there was this huge pause until I remembered his name.
    I think I prefer a pause then filler empty words.
    Wishing you and your family a blessed 2026! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ana, and may you and yours have a prosperous New Year. I take comfort in hearing about another instance of stuff-you-should-know-but-somehow-forgot. I am not fond of public speaking! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dave, I can remember using the phrase “you know” a lot in my vocabulary, but that was a while ago. I was too old for the repetitive use of “like” which was also part of Valley Girl speech. Here in Michigan, Lake Superior State University publishes its annual list of words and phrases that should be banished. My news station listed some of them, but I always go to their site to read the whole list. This year marks 50 years for publishing this list. I’ll put it in a separate comment for you in case it goes to SPAM. My alma mater publishes an annual list of words we should bring back – it’s a fun list as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember when my (remote) manager visited our offices in Colorado and gave a speech to my team. One of my employees kept track of the number of times he said “uh”, and then joked with me about it. All I could think was, “You counted the ‘uh’s’ instead of listening to what he had to say?” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. “Absolutely”, “massive”, and “perfect”. I’m guilty of using all three! That’s a good list, Linda, and I agree it’s time for them to go.

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      1. They have had quite a few interesting words through the years – when you get time, check out their archives. My boss was interested in odd words and phrases and I got him a subscription to “The Word Detective” by Evan Morris. Morris had a great site which remains online, by a different author now, as he passed away a while ago.

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  6. So, this was, lik- e, a really, REALLY great read! I can’t, um, remember when I last thought about, um, using – aaah – filler words. You know?

    Seriously, I remember when “you know” became something that irritated me beyond reason, and when in conversation with someone afflicted by “you know” syndrome I allowed that overused phrase to keep me from hearing what they were trying to say. But I am better now. Except where frequent “like”s peppers the conversation.

    And your story about spacing on the name of the person you were introducing – I can feel my own face getting red just thinking about it!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I should’ve been an editor in another life. The overuse of “very” and “really” drives me nuts. There’s simply no need to put more emphasis on whatever you’re trying to say unless it’s (ha) REALLY necessary. And yes, I still get kind of hot under the collar thinking about that guest speaker moment. She herself took it in stride, but I didn’t have time to ask the other hundred guests what they thought 🙂

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  7. If this is a duplicate comment of the one I tried to leave earlier, then just put this one in your trash can! Actually, it won’t be a total duplicate cause I can’t remember, word for word, everything I said but the meat of it was – sometimes our mind goes to the store for a quart of milk and does not come back just when we need it to remember a name.

    “So without further ado, please welcome”… our extremely knowledgeable guest speaker! That works, I think, because you have already introduced her by name in your intro!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The “quart of milk” comment was LOL but to be honest, I think my gaffe was more a case of “I don’t want to be up here public speaking” 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      2. When I worked in hospital, I dreaded having to introduce drug speakers at Cont.Ed. events, usually some doctor who was an expert in his field but with a name you couldn’t pronounce, so I understand the pressure.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Using filler words is a really hard habit to break. It’s especially annoying when you are listening to someone famous being interviewed and they use so many ums in between that you find yourself listening to the um’s instead. That might make a good New years resolution – let there be silent pauses in between….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment makes me wonder what would happen if we were forced to use pauses instead of filler words. Would we eventually learn to speak better? I’ve listened to people in casual interviews (i.e. no prep) where they don’t use fillers. It’s impressive. Somehow they pace the words of their response with their ability to gather their thoughts. Wish I could do that 🙂

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      1. I wonder if you can take PR training or courses to do that…..or maybe the calmness just comes with experience. I know I’m nervous if being interviewed, although it’s okay if I’m one on one for like a print journalist. I had to do some of those with my mom’s art career, (they mostly just ask the same questions) including one live on air CBC morning radio show at 7am, and I am not a morning person. I prefer not to speak before noon. The interviewer had given me a list of questions about my mother’s art career in her 90’s, so I was sort of semi-prepared, but then she started winging it…..and there was a time constraint as I spoke too long, so I was glad when it was over. I sounded okay on playback though, and the interviewer thought it was fantastic? Sometimes we are our own worst critics. It’s likely your audience didn’t even notice when you forgot.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. The worst case of filler-word syndrome was a teacher’s aide at our children’s school. Every few sentences she’d say, “And all on that part, you know.” I’d never heard that expression before nor have I since! ‘Can’t imagine how that habit developed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, and here I thought one filler word is too many. Even worse, I have no idea what those seven words are supposed to mean!

      Like

      1. I know! I should have tactfully asked, “That’s such an interesting phrase, ‘And all on that part, you know.’ Is that a saying from your family?” Alas, I never had the nerve!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, that podium story was so painful! Do you think you pulled it off?

    Your mention of “like” reminds me of that horrible time I met with my college advisor for the first time. I COULD NOT HELP saying, “like” in front of nearly every sentence because I was so nervous. And I didn’t do that in conversation with friends or anyone else normally. It was super embarrassing, especially because this advisor was, of course, for a writing degree.

    I have a coworker who adds, “You know what I mean?” to most of her sentences, forcing me to nod automatically even if, no, I don’t really know what she means. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If filler words are meant to give us a convenient pause, I wonder why some people (like your coworker) put them at the end of their sentences? There should be a different word to describe those appendages. Your interview sounds as awkward as my speaker intro, where you knew what you were doing but couldn’t help yourself. Sounds like the unnecessary elements of my golf swing 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  12. In my 30’s, a coach in our Training organization told me I was saying “you know” way too often in my presentations. I had not noticed before but the awareness rattled me because I would hear myself saying it. The nice thing about writing is rarely typing those two words!

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    1. If I had my career to do all over again, I’d sign up with Toastmasters. They (supposedly) taught you how to speak with comfort and polish. Theirs was a determined campaign against filler words!

      Liked by 1 person

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