Worthless Wardrobe Boxes

I’ve always liked the play on words of Men’s Wearhouse. If you’re familiar with MW you know they cover more ground than just formal wear. They’ve set aside an area for tuxedos and such, but they have other sections for dress shirts, accessories, and even shoes. It’s like walking through a miniature department store… which is probably why MW is destined for the dust bin sometime in the coming year.

Just eighteen months after Saks Fifth Avenue acquired bankrupt Neiman-Marcus (for the “bargain” price of $2.65 billion) Saks itself filed for bankruptcy; just yesterday.  The 2024 merger of these big-box luxury retailers (which included Bergdorf Goodman) never really came to fruition. Chalk it up to biting off more than they could chew, or more likely to the impact of the changing habits of consumers.  Today’s shoppers want smaller, more specific brick-and-mortar options; that is, whenever they can drag themselves away from online purchasing.

The shuttering of department stores is not limited to the high-end verions, of course.  Macy’s is in the process of closing 150 “underperforming locations”.  JC Penny, Kohl’s, and Marshall’s are closing outlets here and there.  Even Carter’s, the popular option for children’s clothing, is calling it quits on 150 locations.  And Sears, which had almost 3,000 locations just fifteen years ago, is down to a mere five.  Frankly, I didn’t know Sears had any locations anymore.

Chicago’s Sears Tower

Sears (or the Sears, Roebuck and Co I remember as a child) was my family’s go-to-department store for just about anything.  My brothers and I were outfitted in Sears-brand clothing.  My mother purchased all kinds of items for her kitchen.  My father built up his workshop with dozens of Craftsman tools.  And of course, the Sears catalog was not only a kid’s dream-book of Christmas wishes, but its arrival in the mailbox was a sign Santa was on his way… not to your house but to the toy department at Sears.

Like many other things in the States, department stores were based on the originals in Europe.  Harrods of London has been around since 1849 and boasts of 1,100,000 square feet of selling space, making it the largest department store on the continent.  Paris hosts several stores I’ve never heard of yet many have been around as long as Harrods.  And Australia’s David Jones is considered the world’s longest continuously operating department store (since 1838!)

As you read this post – and if you’re Millennial or older – I’m sure a department store of your own experience comes to mind.  Towards the East Coast: Gimbels, Hudson’s, or Wanamaker’s.  Towards the West: May Company, Bullock’s, or Robinson’s.  In Chicago alone: Marshall Field’s, Carson Pirie Scott, or Wieboldt’s.  In Canada: Eaton’s.  The list is endless, even as most of them are downsizing or closing altogether.

In deference to my former department store habits, I also prefer more specific retail these days.  My shoes come from shoe stores.  My shirts come from stores of particular name brands.  But with shopping malls closing along with their aforementioned “anchors”, my stores of choice are now stand-alones or in outlet malls.  Now that I think about it, outlet malls are kind of like outdoor department stores, aren’t they?

I may be nostalgic for the department stores of my past, but I certainly understand why the concept has come and is about to be gone.  We have more convenient, more tailored options these days.  Which has me wondering about supermarkets.  Supermarkets are also under the threat of the changing habits of consumers.  No, I don’t expect a return to those wonderful merchant-driven street markets you find all over Europe.  But we are getting more comfortable with placing orders ahead of time and having groceries delivered to our car or front door.  In other words, enjoy shopping in “food warehouses” while you still can, because department stores are about to become nothing more than worthless wardrobe boxes.

Some content sourced from the CNN Business article, “Saks Global files for bankruptcy protection…”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”. 

Floral Fire

Billboard ranks “Firework” as Katy Perry’s best-selling single, with millions of downloads since its 2010 release. The self-empowerment tune “skyrocketed” to #1 on Billboard’s Top 100 at the time and ranked in the top five on twenty other charts worldwide. “Firework” also “sparked” an award-winning music video, and Katy has since performed the anthem live at two presidential inaugurations and during the halftime show of the Super Bowl.  Searching Wikipedia for “firework”, therefore, it comes as no surprise to be asked, “Do you mean the song or the low-explosive pyrotechnic device?” Today, I choose the latter.

For the first time in countless July 4th celebrations I can’t speak to having seen a single overhead firework display this year. No giant “willows” with their graceful descending trails of sparks; no “peonies” where those same trails radiate in straight lines from the center; and no “horsetails” (my favorite) where each trail bursts a second time, followed by a crackling, glittering shower of fire.  Also, no “grand finale” where it looks like the entire sky is splitting open to some fiery furnace beyond.

“Chrysanthemums”

From the vantage point of our house, we used to count on the fireworks show from the nearby U.S. Air Force Academy. That show has been canceled for the last ten years because of budget cutbacks.  We also used to bring blankets to the shore of a nearby lake, where we were treated to a “small-town” fireworks display funded by donations from the public.  Today, that display has been swallowed up by a bigger all-day “Festival on the Fourth”, where you pay for parking and walk a mile or two just to secure a spot on the lake several hours ahead of the fireworks.  Even so, we thought we’d see bits and bursts from one of the other nine shows scattered around nearby Colorado Springs.  Nope, not so much as a snap, crackle, or pop.

Palmer Lake, CO 2022 fireworks display (photo courtesy of local resident Bartley Willson)

Fireworks are nostalgic for me, with two distinct memories from childhood.  The first, in the 1970s, brings me back to the beach of the Pacific Ocean in Los Angeles.  Back then the only commercial displays seemed to be over the ocean.  My parents would grab a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and several blankets, and the whole family would find a place on the beach where for several hours, we’d eat and play as twilight became dark, in anticipation of the late, late fireworks show from the end of the nearby pier.

The second memory, a decade later, also brings me to the Pacific Ocean but to a beach further south near San Diego, where we’d shoot off our own fireworks (from the “Safe and Sane” boxed collections my dad brought home every year), followed by an overhead display from the nearby county fair.  Every childhood July 4th was the same: food, fun, and fireworks; lots and lots of fireworks.

“Waterfall”

In 1976 – America’s bicentennial year – the firework display in New York City included an unforgettable “waterfall” effect off one of the bridges.  This year, that same July 4th display (sponsored by Macy’s) ballooned to a two-hour televised extravaganza with over 2,000 blasts and effects per minute.  I’d say Macy’s department stores and their profit margins are doing just fine, wouldn’t you?

I shouldn’t be surprised to learn fireworks were invented by the Chinese (well over a thousand years ago) but here’s a less-obvious bit of floral fire trivia: Disney is the largest consumer of fireworks in the world.  It used to be – back when their single amusement park was California’s “Disneyland” – you’d only catch a Disney firework show on summer evenings (directly above Cinderella’s castle), and only if you stayed until just before the park closed.  Today you’ll find displays at any one of the twelve Disney parks, in any month of the year.  For the record, only the U.S. Department of Defense purchases more explosive devices than Disney.

There’s more firework trivia, of course.  The very first iterations were empty bamboo shoots, creating a mild popping sound when ignited because of natural air pockets.  Seeking more pyrotechnics, the Chinese added explosive chemicals to the shoots to create firecrackers”.  Eventually they figured out how to launch and propel their creations, and the overhead fireworks display was born, in an impressive rainbow of chemical colors. But take note; you won’t see a blue firework very often.  Blue requires an infusion of copper at just the right temperature, and the “cool” color tends to get lost next to the “hotter” reds and yellows.

“Catherine wheels”

I’m still puzzled why I didn’t hear so much as a “BOOM! BOOM! BOOM” aftershock (to quote Katy Perry) of a firework display this year.  Maybe most of my fellow Coloradoans kept the bursts and blasts to the ground instead, from what they purchased at the local firework stand. Those of you living in New Jersey, Massachusetts, or Delaware can’t relate because consumer fireworks are illegal in your states.  Not so much as a sparkler in your hand. (Which may be a good thing since sparklers can heat up to 2000 ºF)  So you probably did what I did this year – simply watch a recap of the Washington D.C. grand finale on your smartphone.  It was the only floral fire I could find.

Some content sourced from the BuzzFeed article, “17 Things You Probably Never Knew About Fireworks”, the Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks website, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.