Beyond Quenching

Last week on Thanksgiving, I drank the following beverages in a start-to-finish order I may or may not recall correctly: water, coffee, more water, eggnog, water again, wine, and just before bed, a final gulp of water. Eggnog aside (and wine only occasionally) it was a typical day of liquid consumption. But on the list of reasons why I drink anything at all, I find it interesting “quenching thirst” settles to the bottom of the pool.  Closer to the surface are the more interesting intentions.  Collectively you might refer to these habits as my daily fluid dynamics (DFDs).

When I wake up, the first thing I do (make that the second thing I do, after walking the dog) is to down a glass of water; a full sixteen ounces.  I used to knock back just enough to chase my daily vitamins but then I read how you should drink water first thing in the morning, because technically you’ve been dehydrating for the last eight hours.  So I started filling ‘er up to the top of the glass, a two-cup habit I’ve maintained for a long time now.  Let’s list that habit as DFD #1: To help swallow things (like vitamins).

My top-o’-the-mornin’ water stands in the way of the one drink that truly matters in life: coffee (or tea for the rest of you).  My daily dose of caffeine is always the same: twelve ounces of the rich and robust stuff, with just a splash of cream to take the edge off.  Coffee takes me from foggy to functioning in a matter of sips.  Post-coffee Dave is alert and ready to conquer the day.  Call it a chemical dependency?  Hardly.  I can skip my “daily grind” here or there and be none the worse for wear.  But morning brew is undeniably one of life’s simple pleasures.  DFD #2: To deliver a morning wake-me-up. 

Let’s make a brief rest stop on our tour of daily fluid dynamics… literally.  My morning coffee comes with one utterly inconvenient side effect: the recurring “call of nature”.  Something about caffeine seeks to clear out every available drop of moisture from my body, until I might as well be dust.  It’s like one of those juice presses, only press down uncomfortably on the fruit every, oh, twenty minutes.  If I could down an entire liter of cold brew, not only would I be bouncing off the walls but I’d also lose at least ten pounds in water weight over the next hour.  Maybe I’ve discovered America’s next diet craze.

Okay, we’re back from our visit to the “powder room”.  I’m chugging water several more times during the day (indeed, high/dry Colorado made my faithful companion a water bottle, wherever I go).  But is all this water because I’m thirsty or because I can’t get the old saw out of my head, the one that recommends “eight to ten cups a day”?  A similar water saw says to consume half your body weight in ounces, but let’s be real: I never get to that number (nor do I believe in one-rule-applies-to-all).  Yet getting enough H2O still rattles around in my brain.  So, DFD #3: To hydrate the body.

Eggnog done right (meaning it’s often done wrong) is my favorite drink of the holiday season.  Conveniently, the creamy concoction also serves as a throat-soother when you’re sick.  It’s cold, with a thicker-than-milk consistency that settles on your throat for a fair amount of time.  Reminds me of the old Pepto-Bismol jingle (“the pink stuff”), how it “coats, soothes”.  Eggnog might be as effective as a cough drop and it tastes a whole lot better.  DFD #4: To ease a sore throat or cough.

Wine makes my fluids list regularly, and it would even if I had no argument for a DFD.  But I do.  Like today’s college “pre-game” drinking (or tomorrow’s holiday party you’re dreading), sips of wine dull the senses, warm the insides, and melt away stress.  Loose lips are a common side effect, but wine in moderation typically makes the conversation flow.  Plus, the right vintage simply tastes great, time and again.  DFD #5 then: To act as a “social lubricant”.

Last (and least), water is not only my top o’ the mornin’ but also my close o’ the evenin’ drink.  After the toothpaste, the floss, and the oral rinse, the water goes in and comes right back out.  Swishing, gargling, rinsing, and spitting – it’s all an effort to restore order beyond the lips, so you head to bed without the breath of the dead.  The only more effective approach would be a fire hose on full blast. So, DFD #6: To cleanse the mouth.

Maybe you’re a little more introspective about your consumption of beverages now (and you’re welcome).  Like I said, quenching thirst is somewhere near the bottom of the pool.  So the next time you’re taking a sip, and someone notices you being particularly thoughtful about it, just tell them you’d like to explain a little something called daily fluid dynamics.

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Author: Dave

Five hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

23 thoughts on “Beyond Quenching”

  4. This was so terrifically written, Dave. I would even call it lyrical. I especially enjoyed (and agreed with!) the paragraph about coffee. This was a post worth reading! 5 stars! Highly recommend. 😉 🙂 😛

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  5. My dad only drinks coffee, dr. pepper, and beer and occasionally a glass of water. It’s hard to believe his body can function on no plain water. I am the opposite, not a fun person to be on a road trip with ha!

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    1. That can’t be good for the body, yet my mother-in-law hardly drinks water either and she’s gonna live forever. Maybe they’re onto something? Don’t mention “road trip” again, Lyssy. I’m on one as I type… and already looking for rest stops

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    1. Yep, knew you were big on tea Andrew, hence my nod to tea-drinkers in the coffee paragraph. Thanks to the global Asian population I think there’s way more of “you” than “us”.

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    1. Many days I’ll get behind with my cups of water and then feel like I have to catch up late in the day. Mistake, because then I’ll be getting up a few times in the middle of the night.

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  9. That was interesting Dave and I never heard the acronym “DFDs” before – it’s something I will remember. I was a member of the 8-glasses-of-water-a-day crowd for years, but now with walking, especially long walks on weekends, I’ve cut down unless it is a very hot day. You have the same routine as me, minus the dog. For me, drinking two cups of coffee daily, a glass of OJ or low-sodium V8 and my water intake makes me bolt to the powder room to answer my “call of nature” as soon as my feet hit the ground. Mercifully, there are no middle-of-the-night forays for me … yet.

    But two weeks ago I got up at my usual time (5:00 a.m.), still sleepy-eyed, flushed the toilet and then removed the little Dixie cup I place over the bathroom sink (and another at the tub drain) every night before I go to bed, ever since I turned on the bathroom light one morning and saw a centipede big enough to go to work sitting on the soap in the soap dish. On November 18th, that little bitty Dixie cup went airborne and down the toilet while it was flushing. The toilet was fine, but I wanted to ensure the little cup went to the main drain so I flushed it again – oops. Not smart and having only been awake five minutes since the alarm went off, I did not turn the toilet valve off until there was water everywhere. If only I had not bolted in there, half asleep. From now on, I am cutting my liquids off earlier in the day, with the exception of that custard-style nog that I will sip as the clock strikes midnight.

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    1. That was quite a story about the Dixie cup, Linda (blogworthy!) but the upside was, no spiders! I can relate to that kind of brain fog, especially in the morning. I made up DFD on the spot, so I’m pretty sure you won’t find it on any list of acronyms 🙂

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      1. I’m thinking about using that little tale for a year-end wrap-up Dave, so I’m glad you think it is blogworthy. For a person who likes critters, in 2023 groundhogs, possums and creepy crawlies were the bane of my existence, not to mention costly. At least the groundhog debacle was outside – this episode wreaked havoc on my bathroom and half the house. I also was sitting on a chair back in July and it cracked and broke in half, dumping me onto the floor in a heap. It had a broken rung for a while, but it was not noticeable … in retrospect, I guess the rung was more important than I thought it was. The chair cracked on the seat and could not be repaired. 🙂 Okay, your own acronym … I have to be mindful of liquids going forward so I can just meander, not bolt to the powder room while I have morning brain fog. 🙂

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  10. Hi Dave,
    This was a great article on the need and joy of drinking water.
    It reminded me that I barely had any today and it is already 2:30pm.
    Coffee is my daily luxury, and some evening a glad of prosecco with a splash of St. Germain.
    Blessings to you!

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  11. I should drink more water than I do. I find that a little splash of lemon juice into my water glass makes a glass of H2O more enjoyable. I also like flavored (but unsweetened) seltzer water.

    Count me as another egg nog fan, but I like mine without the booze so many find essential. Coffee is essential.

    I am not much of a wine drinker, but the occasional beer or cocktail is enjoyable. Although I find that alcohol dries me out like coffee does. Now, after reading this, I’m thirsty!

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    1. I’ve only tried spiked eggnog a few times; most definitely prefer it straight. I down my water in two-cup gulps (guess I’ll never be a sipper). And adding a little flavor – fruit juice or otherwise – does help. My daughter talked me into powdered electrolytes a few months ago, at least whenever I go to the gym. They’re slightly sweet so they give my otherwise boring water a nice boost of flavor.

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