Meet Cute

Every now and then McDonald’s gets it right. In 1973, they introduced the Quarter-Pounder because customers demanded more than a 10 oz. patty inside of a boring bun. In 1987, McDonald’s added “PlayPlace” indoor playgrounds to suburban locations: crawl tubes, slides, and ball pits contributing to countless happy childhoods.  This year, the restaurant chain is stepping it up with its McCafé Bakery offerings. The Apple Fritter, Blueberry Muffin, and Cinnamon Roll will step back to give the spotlight to the newest McDonald’s kid on the block: the adorable Glazed Donut.

Seriously, just look at this little guy.  Isn’t he the cutest donut you’ve ever seen?  The McCafé Glazed Donut looks like a happy gathering of donut holes, all nestled up against each other for warmth and protection.  The Donut is pleasingly symmetrical.  Even the spelling is cute (instead of the more substantial “doughnut”).  And the best part: its “donettes” pull apart the way you would a hot, flaky croissant.  It’s like getting seven for the price of one.  And it’s cute to boot.

I admit I didn’t wake up this morning intending to write about cute donuts.  Even the headline about this doughnut’s upcoming debut didn’t really catch my eye.  But then I saw the photo and I was utterly smitten.  It’s the same way I felt when I first saw a package of those colorful little Plink garbage disposal cleaners.  I just had to have them.

Some would describe this as a “meet cute” moment.  Meet cute is the early-on scene in television or movies where two people connect for the first time and you just know they’re headed for romance.  The Hallmark Channel is all about meet cute.  Any scene where Hallmark movie man meets Hallmark movie woman, combined with something funny or unusual is 99% headed towards future romance.  It’s like you’re ten minutes into the story and you already know how it ends.

Plenty of “meet cute” in this one

And that’s how it’s gonna go with the McCafé Glazed Donut.  We had our meet cute this morning.  Now I have two weeks of anticipation and heart palpitations before I can actually buy one.  But I already see it.  I (almost) already taste it.  And the whole pull-apart thing?  Pure sex(y) appeal.

Meet cutes don’t always lead to predictable endings.  After the meet, the movie leads you to believe the characters are destined for romance.  But sometimes they’ll throw a curve (usually in the form of a third character) and the story goes in another direction.  Could happen with the Glazed Donut too.

Let’s use supermarkets as an example.  You stroll into the store, grab a basket, and think about your shopping list.  But before you even reach the aisles you’re greeted with front-of-store marked-down day-old doughnuts.  They’re just sitting there like little round orphans, begging you to spend another $0.69 to “adopt” one.

They’ll be front-of-store by tomorrow

So you do.  And you make sure the little guy’s placed in your basket as an easy find.  Then you slide behind the steering wheel and polish him off before you even leave the parking lot.  Tastes great, right?  Maybe now.  Later you’ll reflect on the slight, sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach and wonder why you caved.

That’s my thinking with the McCafé Glazed Donut.  I can cruise past the Fritter, Muffin, and Cinnamon Roll without so much as a passing glance.  But mark my words, next month I’ll find any excuse to be near a McDonald’s during McCafé Bakery hours.  I’ll purchase the Glazed Donut and my meet cute will blossom into a full-on romance. When I consider the Protein Shake I have most mornings, I’ll feel like I’m about to cheat on my mainstay.  Heck, this scandal could go viral! I see the headline now: Man Opts for Sweet & Sexy over Cold & Icy.  But can you blame me?  My Protein Shake really IS cold and icy, and there’s nothing satisfyingly pull-apart about it at all.  Meanwhile a small, soft, almost UFO-looking donut beckons.

Forgive me, my beautiful, healthy breakfast-in-a-cup.  Looks like I’m gonna stray.

Some content sourced from the CNN.com article, “McDonald’s is adding a sweet new treat for fall”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Author: Dave

Three hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

15 thoughts on “Meet Cute”

  1. I’ve read that the Pull-Aparts are a limited time offering – and not available in Canada yet! Good thing we have Tim Horton’s Timbits – bite-sized morsels of their traditional donuts.

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    1. Tim Horton’s must be to Canada what Dunkin’ is to the States. I hear the name all the time but I’ve never tried it and I know there aren’t any stores nearby. They must be in the Northeast states or closer to our shared border. Yes, that “limited time” thing will have me hitting McDonald’s by mid-September.

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  4. Hi Neil. I like sweets but I try to keep them to a minimum in the house. When I have a weak moment I figure it’s better to go “savory” than sweet. I’ll probably try the McDonald’s doughnut once to satisfy my curiosity – then be done with it forever.

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  5. The first thing I thought of when I read the title was “The Holiday”. Also it cracked me up when you said “all nestled up against each other for warmth and protection”. Not sure these will make it onto my foodie page ha

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    1. I think you’ve featured a few gourmet NYC doughnuts already. With that in mind, I agree; McDonald’s Glazed Donut does not deserve space on your page. Even if it is pretty cute.

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  6. What a novel idea Dave … a little like monkey bread or cinnamon pull-aparts and yes … Plinks. Years ago, there were mini donuts you could buy in the freezer case and bake them up fresh. They were awesome … a little too handy and tasty, so my mom stopped getting them!

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  7. I sure hope they live up to your expectations, Dave. You’ve got a lot of hope riding on those little guys! I wonder why they’re only going to be offered for a limited time?

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  8. I think McDonald’s likes to test-market before committing to their menu (or maybe “limited time” is a marketing ploy?) The Glazed Donut has to earn its rightful place. Made for a fun blog topic but I’m not really a patron of McDonald’s. Just the occasional Egg McMuffin 🙂

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  9. I used to love glazed donuts when I was a kid and my mom brought a package home with the weekly grocery run, but they were soft and coated with a honey sugary glaze. I’ve seen some of the MacDonald’s McCafe donuts here and they are too small to be bothered with. When I want a donut I don’t want a mini-donut, not worth the price. I really miss the baked fruit pies here in Canada, the cherry was especially good, also the blueberry. Now all we can get is the apple. I think I need to write them a letter…

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  10. Oh man – McDonald’s Cherry Turnovers, Joni. I miss them as much as you do. It was a crime when they dropped them from the menu. I don’t think we ever had blueberry in the States but I’m sure those were good too. You also make a fair point about the Glazed Donut. If you’re going to eat a doughnut, might as well go big instead of something small and cute 🙂

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  12. I just saw those on a menu board a few days ago and had the same reaction you did. I stayed strong that day but vowed to bite into what are advertised as soft, frosted, cloud-like bliss. I am a little fearful as more than once a new item on a menu has failed to cash the checks it writes in the advertising.
    So, (asks the guy who gets here a month late) any updates to share?

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    1. Haven’t tried the donut yet, J.P. Agreeing with your point, I’m a little hesitant to spoil the anticipation with a taste of the actual product. It can’t possibly be as good as advertised, right? RIGHT? Someday soon I’ll find myself near a McDonald’s during breakfast hours and give the “cloud-like bliss” a try.

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