Concourses or Golf Courses?

Whenever flying is a part of my travel plans, I wear my most comfortable pair of walking shoes. Long gone are the days of the coat-and-tie-to-fly dress code, in favor of sneakers (and jeans). My reason for rubber-soled kicks used to be, “What if we’re in some kind of accident and I need to get off in a hurry?” Today I go with a wholly different reason. The long, long walk I can expect from curb to concourse to airplane cabin simply demands something easy on the feet.

Here’s a startling comparison.  If you play golf and skip the cart, you’re going to walk over four miles to finish your round.  By almost the same token, if you’re connecting through Dallas-Ft. Worth or Atlanta and choose to walk from Terminal B to Terminal E, you’re going to walk over two miles.  Add in the inevitable search for food, a stop or two at retail, and a visit to the restroom and you’re closer to three miles.  And none of that includes the distance from the curb to the ticket counter, from the counter through security, and from your gate down the jetway to your seat on the plane.

How do they do it in heels?

Now for the bad news.  Airports are only getting bigger, and not for the reasons you might think.  Sure, more people fly than ever before, which adds more planes, more gates, and even more airports.  But behind the scenes a couple of stronger forces are at work.  One, airlines are shifting to larger aircraft, which translates to more space between parked planes.  Two, airport parking revenue is down (thanks to Uber, Lyft, and more mass transit), which translates to the airport’s need to find revenue elsewhere.  Where?  Retail, bars, and restaurants.

Don’t get used to these…

From recent trips through airports, I’ve noticed the following.  In Denver International, remodeled Concourse B is already labeled “Gates 1-100”, even though there aren’t a hundred gates.  It’s a straight-line concourse and it’s only going to get longer.  In Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson, the concourses are so long and narrow (and so crowded), that last gate is farther than you can see without binoculars.  And in San Diego’s Lindbergh Field, when you’re processed into Terminal 2 from security, you can’t see a single gate, because you have to pass through a veritable shopping mall first.

In the ultimate insult to long walks to planes, some airports have left the moving walkways out of their concourse remodels.  Those walkways discourage you from passing directly in front of the food and retail the airport so desperately needs you to patronize.  And intentional or not, the airlines encourage these purchases by offering less food onboard.  You, weary traveler, are a captive audience to more than one performer.

I prefer this kind of walk

Let’s not forget the rental cars.  Avis’s slogan is “We try harder”.  Maybe it should be, “We try harder… to take more of your money“.  I just reviewed my receipt from a recent San Diego rental for a full-size standard Kia sedan.  Right there below the actual daily rate: “11.11% Concession Recovery Fee”; essentially the cost of doing business at the airport.  Add in Vehicle License Recoup fee, Customer Facility Charge (another airport fee), California Tourism Fee, and a final flourish of “tax”, and the rate increased by 32%.  All so I can walk further to get to my rental car?

An early chapter of my career was in airport planning.  We’re the people who figure out how to get the planes from the runways to the taxiways to the gates without hitting each other.  We also design the terminal buildings to include enough gates, concessions and restrooms (yeah, yeah, bring on the heat with that last item).  Concourse design used to be “spoke and hub”, meaning you walked down the spoke to a circular boarding hub of several gates.  It made the airplane taxiing a little trickier outside, but it significantly reduced a passenger’s walk to the gate.  Today, airports no longer favor the design (er, traveler) because it reduces the square footage for concessions.

For those of you who live and die by your 10,000 steps, take heart; airports are helping you accomplish your daily goal.  Phoenix Sky Harbor even disguised the long walk through the concourses by calling it a “Fitness Trail”.  Be sure to allow enough time to get in a (seriously overpriced) shopping trip at all those concessions.  But don’t forget, the airlines only allow one reasonably sized carry-on these days.  Any others will cost you a checked bag fee… because the airport isn’t making enough money already.

Some content sourced from the CNN Business article, “Why you have to walk so far to your gate at the airport”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Dear Little John

Sports Illustrated occasionally puts out an issue titled “Where Are They Now?”, profiling the next chapters of athletes who were once prominent in their given sport.  The latest edition – just this week – fittingly covers the gold-medal winning women’s gymnastics team from the 1996 Atlanta games. I can still picture Kerri Strug landing that perfect vault on a broken ankle; the clinching performance for USA team gold.

If my own friends from twenty years ago wondered “where is Dave now?”, they might stare in disbelief as I navigate my John Deere tractor across acres of ranch property here in Colorado. I like to think of my 42-in. 20HP v-twin hydrostatic front-engine ride as a mean, green, mowing machine. My model D125 chews up the fast-growing grass like a teenager in front of pizza. She’s a veritable beast on wheels.

My wife also has a tractor – a Kubota L4330 “Compact Utility”. Here’s a picture of our babies side-by-side:

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Stop laughing now, and step aside with me for some color fun. If you see a yellow tractor it’s probably manufactured by Caterpillar. If it’s blue it’s probably a New Holland. Red equals International Harvester, (though IH stop making theirs in the mid-1980’s). Then you have Kubota in the bright orange and John Deere in a pleasing shade of green.  As Skittles would say, Taste the Rainbow!

Okay, back to the photo. I confess my little green kitten is dwarfed by my wife’s Transformer mega-monster.  And the stats don’t lie: her Kubota is twice the length and twice the horsepower, and outweighs my Deere by over a ton.  She has a roll bar, which suggests she can go four-wheeling in the fields, or even cartwheel her tractor down sand dunes without the slightest of injuries.  Me?  I pretty much limit my adventure to little circuits around the back lawn.

While I’m at it, I’ll go to full-on confession mode and say my wife is the real tractor pro; not me. She and her Kubota keep the blizzard snow at bay in winter and the pasture grass at a respectable height in summer. My own occasional efforts with the Kubota are far more amateur, but I often make impressive gouges in our dirt driveway.

Last spring my wife rewarded herself with that cab enclosure you see in the photo, complete with side doors and heat.  Maybe I’ll get her a stereo for Christmas.  Maybe I’ll get my John Deere a seat cover.

Country music singer Jason Aldean had a nice hit with “Big Green Tractor”, but I wouldn’t be able to duet with Jason without thinking “Little”.  Craig Morgan also had a hit with “International Harvester”, but I just can’t relate to the lyric “tip your hat to the man UP on the tractor”.  Finally, Kenny Chesney made it big with “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”.  Okay, now we’re talking (er, singing).  Let’s assume my wife feels that way about my Deere, shall we?  I’ll keep wearing the JD colors to show my pride.

Even if it’s just a “little” pride.

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