Fill ‘er Up

Several years ago at a banquet, I stood at the podium to introduce the evening’s guest speaker. After sharing some of her background and accomplishments, I went with the expected, “So without further ado, please welcome”…, and then I paused. And paused some more. I’d forgotten the speaker’s name. The silence, as the saying goes, was deafening. Eventually I found her name in my notes, but not without an uncomfortable gap in my speech. Perhaps a filler word would’ve smoothed things over.

Do you use filler words?  Actually, let’s make that question a statement.  You use filler words.  Every now and then in conversation you’ll throw in the occasional “uh”, “like”, or “so”.  Filler words do exactly what their label implies: they fill up the awkward gap of silence created by a pause.  Every one of us can recall an experience where we’ve left out filler words in a vain attempt to keep the polish on our speech, but it’s a no-win situation.  If you go with the pause your audience looks at each other with one of those Is he okay? glances.  If you go with a filler word you’re hinting you’re not completely on top of your material.

The parade of filler words is much longer than the commoners I mentioned above.  The filler “uh” comes from its own family, including “um”, “oh”, “er”, and “ah”; tiny signs of reluctance to say whatever comes next.  And speaking of next, how about “very”, “really”, and “highly”?  These three are fillers disguised as words of emphasis, but are usually superfluous.  Then we have “You know…” and “You see…”, which seem to politely draw the listener into the conversation.  But sorry, they’re also fillers, allowing a pause at the start of a thought.  Finally (as if there’s an end to this parade), let’s add “I guess” and “I suppose”, both designed to soften a response when what you should go with instead is a confident “yes” or “no”.

I deliberately skipped one filler here because it deserves it’s own parade.  “Like” sprinted to front and center of casual English in the last couple of generations, taking up a lot of the spaces “uh” and his pals used to fill.  Some people use “like” so often it starts to feel like every other word they’re saying.  But make no mistake – every “like” is simply a mini-pause to allow the speaker to reboot their thoughts.

Watch out, because filler words can be contagious.  I used to work for a company where it seemed every one of my teammates couldn’t start a sentence without the word “So”.  Somehow “so” sounds a little smoother than “uh” but it’s basically the same filler.  Before I knew it I caught myself also using “so”, as if it was the only way to start a sentence.  And “so” has a built-in bonus: you can drag it out for drama.  So-o-o-o-o…

Filler words somehow sound better with a foreign accent.  The Irish “um” sounds like the more pleasing ehm.  Even throwing in a bunch of “you knows” in the Irish accent seems to work.  And speaking of accents, Hollywood (or maybe just Los Angeles) brought us Valley Girl talk, which includes a weird form of attitude along with its own set of meaningless filler words like “totally”, “whatever”, and “as if” (think Cher from Clueless).  Valley Girl talk has had a remarkable run considering it roots were in the 1980s.  You still hear the words today.

The next time you call out a friend with Hello? Is anybody home? for not paying attention, consider perhaps they’re trying to avoid filler words by simply not saying anything.  That’s harder to do than it sounds.  Try speaking for a few minutes without filler words.  It’s so difficult it’s birthed a string of funny videos on TikTok.  As for me, I’ll keep using my fillers wherever I need them.  Especially when I forget the name of a guest speaker.

Some content sourced from the CNN Health article, “Should you stop saying ‘um’?  Here’s what the experts said”.