Hold The Phone!

My wife and I live in the kind of neighborhood where we can just hop on our bikes and go for a ride, straight from the driveway. The streets are quiet and flat, giving us time for conversation and reflection. A bike was such a focal part of my childhood that it’s easy to go back to those long-ago days in my mind. But I was too young to remember the year (or years) my bike had training wheels. Whoever invented training wheels made a lot of money getting kids comfortable with “big bikes”. Come to think of it, you could say the same about landlines and smartphones.

Smartphones are a blessing as well as a curse, aren’t they?  On the one hand they’re always “on” and always eager to provide the instant information we crave.  On the other hand they seduce and consume us, to where our social life is more often with an electronic device than it is with other humans.  I’m sure I could find plenty of studies explaining why the “ding” of a text creates a hankering to read the message immediately (no matter how unimportant).

There are a dozen reasons why my smartphone is my “go-to” but a dozen  more where I should be saying, “go away”.  I’ll never forget the time we saw Lady A in concert.  A family of five sat in front of us, with three pre-teen girls giddy to get the live performance started.  But when the concert finally began, they popped up their phones and recorded the entire show start to finish.  Someone forgot to tell them to enjoy the moment.

Here’s another example.  You’re at a restaurant enjoying dinner with your significant other, when another couple across the room catches your eye.  They’re facing each other, their dinner plates untouched in front of them.  Their heads are bent low as if in quiet conversation.  But in fact, both are on their phones and not saying a word to each other.  Someone forgot to tell them to enjoy the moment.

I’m grateful I was raised in a generation without smartphones.  The memories I have of landlines are not only nostalgic but includ plenty of teaching moments for a child.  In my early years (the ones with a single digit) I was never allowed to answer the phone.  In fact, the only time I was allowed to even speak on the phone was when my mother would hand over the receiver and say “Here, talk to Grandma while I finish making dinner”.

When my parents deemed me old enough to answer the phone, I learned to answer formally (as in “Hello? Wilson Residence.”) because there was no such thing as Caller ID.  I also learned how to engage in conversation, instead of just listening to the person on the other end of the line.  Finally, I learned that everything comes at a cost, because eventually my father installed a separate landline for his five sons, and charged them for those hours-long calls to girlfriends and such.

Landlines may be few and far between these days but they’re making something of a comeback, at least for parents who see them as “training wheels”.  Call me old-fashioned but a landline requires a person to a) Drop what they’re doing to answer the call, b) Have one-on-one conversation with no texts or emojis, c) Give the call their full attention (speakerphones aside), and most importantly d) Develop the communication skills a person needs in the “real world”.

I’m told there’s a resurgence of cell phones out there that do nothing more than allow for voice calls.  They’re like a landline in your hand, without the temptations of texting, emailing, social media, and everything else that puts a voice call in last place.  And they still give a child the option to dial Mom, Dad, or even 9-1-1 in an emergency.  For those taking this approach to teach their kids how to get comfortable engaging in conversation (let alone speaking like an adult) I say “smart phone”.  And “smart parents”.

Some content sourced from the CNN Health article, “Landline are ringing in homes again…”.

What’s ‘appening with Dining Out?

After moving our daughter into her college apartment last Saturday, we offered to take a group of her friends out to a local restaurant to celebrate the beginning of the school year.  The place we chose did not allow for table reservations but did offer call-ahead seating.  Thus did our party of ten arrive during the busy dinner hour and was seated less than ten minutes later.  It’s fair to say this call-ahead experience was entirely pleasing to the palate.

58 - palate

Call-ahead seating is an interesting concept to me.  It’s somewhere between a full-on reservation and simply showing up for dinner.  The restaurant puts you on a list when you call ahead, and then you’re given the next available table after you arrive.  In essence, call-ahead mitigates the restaurant’s risk of the no-show reservation.

Call-ahead feels entirely dated if you use OpenTable, of course  With OT you’re limited to the restaurants supported by the app, but you’re also given the convenience of choosing cuisine, location, menu, and time; right up to the moment you walk through the door.  OT’s website boasts “seating more than 20 million diners per month… across more than 38,000 restaurants”.  Clearly the new-age approach to restaurant reservations has arrived.

But is OpenTable also dated?  With a little research I was amazed to discover several other companies changing our approach to dining out.  Consider the following:

NoWait allows you to add yourself to the wait list of a restaurant that doesn’t take reservations.  NoWait is like having someone stand in line for you, with the convenience of knowing when that person gets to the front of the line.  Hence you can shop or have a drink nearby instead enduring the crowding and impatience of the restaurant’s waiting area.

Rezhound and TableSweep are boosters for OpenTable.  They scan OT for newly-released (cancelled) reservations, then notify you by text or email with what they find.  You have to jump over to OT to actually book the reservation (be quick!), but it’s a great concept if you’re in the habit of waiting for last-minute seats at popular restaurants.

Table8 is designed for the more upscale dining experience.  Table8’s restaurants set aside a fixed number of peak-time tables every night.  You can reserve any available table at a Table8’s restaurant for free, or reserve one of the “set-aside” tables for a fee if there are no other tables.  Again, last-minute seats at popular restaurants, as long as you’re willing to pay a little extra.

Settle allows you to book a table, pre-order your food, and pay for your meal on your phone.  I’m not a fan of Settle’s time-saving tactics.  I think the moments perusing and discussing the menu is part of the fun of dining out, not to mention the brief relationship with your waiter.  If saving time is your objective, just get your food to-go.

Shout borders on the absurd.  Shout is the ticket-scalper’s approach to restaurant reservations.  For a fee negotiated with the “seller”, you the “buyer” can purchase a hard-to-get restaurant reservation, or pay the seller to wait at a given restaurant until your name is called.  Really?  Is the restaurant that good and your time that important?

To end on a humorous or horrifying note (take your pick), Happy is marketed as the do-it-yourself happy-hour app.  Walk into a bar, cue the Happy app, and a timer starts a 60-minute countdown: to enjoy whatever 2-for-1’s or other specials the bar has to offer.  So now you can get extra drinks any time of day.  Just remember, you only have an hour.  On your marks… get set… DRINK!

Planed English

Have you ever listened to a friend or family member talk, and you realize you just enjoy listening to them regardless of what they’re talking about? Why does this happen? What gets the credit for your undivided attention? I would venture to say your friend or family member has a personal command of the English language. That is, you are drawn to this person’s unique subset of the hundreds of thousands of words available to them. He or she can string together words in a way that makes you smile or laugh, or even react the particular way they would want you to. They speak with fluency and aptness. They speak with eloquence.

Today’s generation does not speak with eloquence. Thanks to the convenience of email and text, in fact they hardly speak at all. My children have a habit of telling me “they spoke to so and so” and when pressed, I realize they’re referring to texting. The phone calls of my generation have become the texts of theirs. Even email is beginning to take a back seat to instant messaging.

Whatever the medium, today’s conversations have been reduced to a minimum of words, or not even words at all! Incomplete sentences. Acronyms (i.e. LOL). Emoticons. Hashtags. It might as well be its own language. Are we really intent on leaving “Queen’s” English in the rear-view mirror, for something not even qualifying as “plain” English?

Most of what we see and do and experience can be summed up in a few words. My endeavor with this blog is to bring a single, elegant word to the table, back it up with a meaningful moment or story in my life, and send you away thinking how you might use that word more often in your everyday conversations. We all have something to say. But can we say it in a way that captivates and inspires? Can we say it with eloquence?

Join me on this journey, won’t you? Let me show you life in a word.