cookies – Life In A Word

Soon To Be Crumbs

Fall has arrived around here, even if Mother Nature is reluctant to usher in a new season. Our temperatures will be summerlike for another day or two. Regardless, autumn always brings baking to the forefront of my to-do list. I’ve already cranked out a breakfast pizza (three cheeses!), I’m sure to serve up a pumpkin pie before Halloween, and just this morning I whipped up three dozen gingerbread cookies. But whenever I bake cookies I always find myself thinking, “Should I have just gone to Crumbl instead?”

You know Crumbl, or some other cookie chain just like it. For ten years running Crumbl has tempted impulse buyers with their overly-large, overly-sweet, overly-everything baked goods. Crumbl cookies are so big they’ll sell you a small device much like a pizza cutter so you can share a cookie with friends. But let’s be real – if you’re spending as much on a Crumbl cookie as you would a Starbucks latte are you really gonna share? No, you’ll probably down the entire cookie within thirty minutes of purchase, your only regret arriving somewhere during digestion.

Now for something even harder to digest: Crumbl is on its way out. The clock is close to striking midnight on a company that somehow convinced us five dollars was a reasonable price for a cookie. They’re closing stores in big numbers. Despite the contraction I don’t think Crumbl’s demise is a symptom of the cost of living as much as it is all of us finally emerging from our sugar comas and declaring, “Enough is enough”.

It took me awhile to give Crumbl a try. When we lived in Colorado they opened a store next door to one of our favorite restaurants. For a long time we wondered what the fuss was all about. Then one day we skipped the dessert menu and decided to give the cookies a try. We bought four (for twenty dollars). If I’m being honest they were just okay. Some choices worked (frosted sugar cookie with raspberry jam – yum!) while others didn’t measure up (standard chocolate chip – meh).

Honestly what I remember most about Crumbl was not the cookies, but rather the wait in line to order. While I did I watched the nearby people waiting at the pick-up counter. It didn’t take long to realize most of them were DoorDash drivers, delivering cookies to the college dorms a ten-minute walk from the store. So not only were those students paying big for big cookies, they paid to have them delivered when they could’ve walked off a few of the calories themselves. Can I get a What’s wrong with Americans?

Our daughter embraced the Crumbl craze when she got married in 2022. She ordered two hundred of their “minis”, wrapped them individually in elegant boxes, and placed them next to the dinner plate of each guest at the reception. When the party was over we discovered at least half of the cookies left behind. Perhaps the beginning of Crumbl’s end actually started years ago.

Side note: If you place an order through Crumbl’s website the first decision you’ll have to make is whether to “reject non-essential or accept all cookies”. How appropriate 🙂

Just this week Crumbl announced the closure of seventy-five stores and significant layoffs at its Utah headquarters. The critics are blaming the cutbacks on the failed promotion of “dirty sodas”, another Utah-based product (popular with Mormons and their non-alcoholic ways). I don’t buy it, even though I wouldn’t buy a dirty soda either. I just think we’ve reached our tolerance for high-priced cookies and have moved on to the next comfort-food indulgence trend (like the gelato I wrote about several weeks ago.

The Crumbl store we have here in our small town opened just over a year ago, in the same shopping center as a popular supermarket. People go in an out of the supermarket by the dozens, but I have yet to see any of them wander down the sidewalk to Crumbl. It’s a sad sight when you drive by the storefront: the lone cashier standing behind the counter waiting for anyone to buy a big cookie. Even sadder, it won’t be long before her manager asks her to go into the lobby and lock the front door – for good.

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LEGO Neuschwanstein Castle – Update #10 (read about the start of this project in Fit for a (Fairy Tale) King

The castle is complete at last, even if the surrounding landscape is not. Bags 19 and 20 (of 23 bags of pieces) focused almost entirely on the completion of the western palas (one of two residential buildings). Not only is this structure much taller than I expected but it’s topped by an intricate roof that consumed a good portion of Bag 20. Dozens of pieces went into the black top of the building you see below.

I also felt like I was building a couple of rocket ships today. Neuschwanstein’s tall, dramatic stair towers start out as long plastic LEGO dowels, onto which you spin circular piece after circular piece. Finally you set the whole assembly upright and snap it into the surrounding castle. Two of Neuschwanstein’s stair towers are located intentionally where the terrain of the ridge below takes a bit of a turn; a very “castle” look.

Sometimes LEGO pieces have a hard time mimicking the small details of a structure. The western palas claims to have “a copper lion atop the court-side gable, while a knight’s likeness is on the outward facing gable, offering a protective touch to the castle.” The knight is up there on the rooftop all right but I didn’t find a “copper lion” anywhere in the bags (let alone in my pile of leftovers).

Hard to fit all of Neuschwanstein into one photo!

The very last step in today’s build was to add thirty-two tree trunks to the landscape. That’s a lot of logs. You have to zoom in on the photo above to see these tiny brown poles but tune in next week, because in a flourish of a finish, we’ll use the final three bags of pieces to top them off with bursts of color.

Running build time: 10:55

Total leftover pieces: 65 (including 2 tree trunks!)

Accompanying movie soundtrack: Pride & Prejudice (2005). Today’s choice was something of an experiment. Pride & Prejudice shows up regularly on “elegant soundtrack” lists but I’ve never seen the movie (let alone read anything by Jane Austen). So I figured, maybe the music will have me wanting to watch the film. The soundtrack includes several classical-sounding piano solos, probably tied to slow, dramatic scenes. You also get a few instances of lively fiddle-playing, probably connected to formal dance scenes. But for the most part the soundtrack had me imagining moments where the camera dwells on a character’s face, and their expression says it all. Will I watch Pride & Prejudice? I just might. After all, any movie that dwells on Kiera Knightley is worth the watch.

Some content sourced from the bonappétit.com article, “The End of Cookie Chains”, and the ksl.com article, “Utah-based Crumbl closes dozens of locations…”.

Hitting the Sweets Spot

My brother owns a vintage Ferrari – not as pricey as it might sound. One of his neighbors sold him the 1960s-era car for cheap, in far less than mint condition, and he spent years bringing it back to life. I’ve never had an interest in a Ferrari myself. However, if I change up just two vowels in the word (the “a” and the “i”), I come up with Ferrero. Okay, now you have my attention.

Ferrero is a remarkable success story for a family business, especially considering its start as a modest pastry shop in a small town in northern Italy. Two brothers: Pietro with a love of creating new products and Giovanni a natural at networking, grew the business across the region over the years, but it wasn’t until they handed the reins to son Michele that Ferrero became a household name. Today, the “sweets-packaged food company” is one of the world’s largest, boasting an entire supermarket aisle worth of products.

Let’s start with Nutella (just like Ferrero did when they moved beyond pastries). Nutella was created as a spin on chocolate with the intent of making it more affordable. Add hazelnuts plentiful in local orchards and Ferrero came up with the butter-like confection the world knows so well today. That product all by itself would’ve been considered a success story, but since then Ferrero grew their sweets umbrella to a gigantic list… and one from which I’ve sampled way too many times.

Begin anywhere you want by adding sugar and you’re probably talking Ferrero. How about Tic Tac? It’s a Ferrero product. I’d love to know how many (hundreds? thousands?) of boxes of Tic Tac I’ve consumed over the years, with the excuse I always had a breath mint nearby when I needed one. My choice was the standard white “Freshmint”, but there’s a flavor for everyone now, including the orange “Citrus”, pink and white “Strawberries and Cream”, and even brown “Dr. Pepper”.

Ferrero also commands a good share of the candy bars you’d find at your nearby 7-Eleven. Take your pick from 100 Grand, Baby Ruth, Butterfinger, Chunky, Oh Henry, or Crunch – they’re all Ferrero now. If you don’t recognize that last one, it’s because Ferrero (or actually Ferrara – one of their subsidiaries) reduced the word “Nestlé” to a really small font on the label. It’s true; a Nestlé Crunch bar may still be produced by Nestlé but it’s now licensed by Ferrero.

Maybe you’re a fan of movie candy. You’ll also find Ferrero at the theater, whether you choose a box of Goobers, Raisinets, or Sno-Caps. Cookies instead? How about the Mother’s Cookies brand? Their pink/white “Circus Animals” and frosted “Taffy Sandwich” cookies still tug at my taste buds. Or maybe you go for those bite-sized Famous Amos chocolate-chip cookies. Amos may not sound Italian but he’s in the Ferrero family now.

When I first met my wife she introduced to me to Fanny May “premium gourmet” chocolates. It was the first time my allegiance to See’s Candies was tested. Trust me, it’s hard to beat a Fanny May milk chocolate vanilla buttercream. For that matter, raise your game with a cherry-filled Mon Chéri or a gold-foiled Ferrero Rocher . Each of these indulgences – except See’s – are now Ferrero.

Which brings me to the ultimate get. The list I’ve covered is not even half of the name brands you’ll find at Ferrero but last year they might’ve reeled in their biggest fish yet… Kellogg’s. Seriously, who among us hasn’t had a bowl (or a hundred bowls) of Kellogg’s breakfast cereal? When I was a kid there always seemed to be a box of Corn Flakes, Special K, or Raisin Bran in the pantry (none of which I was crazy about) and better yet Apple Jacks, Froot Loops, or Honey (Sugar) Smacks. You’ll find a lot more choices than those on the cereal shelves, and in every case you’re talking Ferrero as much as Kellogg’s.

As much as I’ve enjoy Ferrero’s products, virtually all of them are past memories. I’ve moved on to more “adult” choices (translation: way less processed sugar). So I made myself a wager before I checked: There are no Ferrero products in my pantry. And then I promptly lost the bet – twice. I found a box of Raisin Bran (how’d that get in there?) destined to hit its expiration date sooner than the cereal bowl. And I found a box of Nonni’s, which are pretty darned tasty for an off-the-shelf brand of biscotti. I’m starting to think I took the wrong approach with today’s topic. Maybe my lead question was meant to be: what products aren’t under Ferrero’s umbrella?

quintessential

This time of year – Halloween in particular – sparks memories of a more innocent time. In the trick-or-treat years of my day, costumes were homemade from whatever scraps of clothing, cardboard, or construction paper could be found lying around the house. Pumpkins became Jack O’ Lanterns using a dark pencil and a sharp kitchen blade – no “carving kits” to speak of – easy faces and single candles, lit and placed on the front porch to greet the neighborhood each night. Halloween treats were simple and seasonal (Wax Lips! Candy Cigarettes!) collected and piled high in bright orange plastic pumpkins. “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” was thirty minutes of can’t-miss television.

If I’m to put one Halloween memory at the top of my list however, no recollection touches my soul quite like my mom’s “pumpkin cookies”. These colorful characters go straight to my heart every year I bake up another batch. Behind those happy/sad/laughing/angry faces are my quintessential childhood memories.

Look closely at the photo. Mom’s pumpkin cookies are a fairly simple treat – no family secret here. Find a good rolled ginger cookie recipe (the kind that banks on molasses, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves); roll and shape the cookies like pumpkins; bake to the consistency of gingerbread; frost to a bright orange; and devise the faces with candy corn, M&M’s, and fruit smiles. Be sure to let them dry before you protect them with a little plastic wrap. A recipe that claims a yield of sixty will get you about two dozen if you make them the right size. These cookies are B-I-G.

Mom’s pumpkin cookies tug at my heartstrings for two reasons. First, mom let my brothers and I do the decorating from a very young age. We would sit at the dining table – our makeshift bakery – with bowls of candy and row upon row of cookies just waiting for their faces. Not all of the candy made it onto the cookies. This was a child’s dream.

Second and more significantly, we handed out Mom’s pumpkin cookies from a big bowl at the front door on Halloween night. That’s right; instead of Smarties or Abba-Zaba’s or Sugar Babies, we sent dozens of homemade, orange-frosted, funny-faced cookies out into the neighborhood. Does it get any more innocent than that?

In the early 1970’s, after a rash of highly-publicized incidents involving tampered Halloween candy, a lot of the fun went out of the holiday. Trick-or-treat candy quickly became the mass-produced, store-bought, plastic-wrapped variety you can buy anytime, anywhere. Parents took to driving their kids from door to door instead of letting them navigate the streets alone. “Safe” trick-or-treating was born in churches and shopping malls.

And Mom’s pumpkin cookies started landing in the trash can at the end of our driveway.

Perhaps that explains why forty years later I still bake up a batch. Perhaps it’s my annual salute to the innocence of Halloween. Or better, perhaps it’s my mom as I remember her all those years ago, urging me to open the bakery yet again. Cookies are waiting for their faces.

M&M’s are easy to find, while candy corn requires a bit of a search. But fruit smiles are becoming the real challenge. Cracker Barrel stopped selling them a few years ago, no doubt for lack of sales. But a local candy manufacturer still makes them, so every October I visit their shop and buy my lot. This year, the older woman behind the counter asked me what I was going to do with four dozen fruit smiles. So I dipped into my quintessential memories and told her about Mom’s pumpkin cookies. And just for a moment she paused and closed her eyes, perhaps once again a little girl dressed in costume, running and laughing through darkened streets in search of that next Halloween treat.