Renaissance Man

In the second movement of Antonin Dvořák’s New World Symphony, the orchestra settles down as the English horn begins its soft, wailing solo. You’ve heard this famous lullaby in one version or another, but never more powerfully than in the “Largo” movement of Dvořák’s symphony, with the strings and woodwinds providing the sweeping background (~45 seconds into the following video). It’s one of my favorite classical pieces, and my performance is flawless every time I play it.  Play it in my head, that is.

I’ve developed a satisfying habit over the years which you might share (or at least, be willing to try).  Think about something that interests you, or an activity in which you like to participate.  Over time you’ve developed a fair understanding of your subject, though your level of knowledge and skill would never qualify you as a professional.  But what if it did?  What if you suddenly had the smarts or the talent to find yourself among the world’s best?  Wouldn’t your life be wildly different?

My years of piano lessons never propelled me anywhere close to the ranks of “professional” or “best”.  I never even advanced beyond the piano’s foundation to pursue an instrument like the English horn.  To do so would’ve meant a wholly different direction in life.  More practice and lessons instead of time spent with friends or years in the Boy Scouts.  A different college or at least a different degree.  Competitions.  Travel.

Music eventually gave way to an interest in sports and soon I found myself on the basketball court more than in front of the piano keyboard.  I’d practice endlessly at our backyard hoop, imagining myself making game-winning shot after shot.  I did play a couple of years of JV ball in high school and went to college games at nearby UCLA.  But my skills never developed to the varsity-, let alone college-level.  Was I infatuated with basketball at the time?  Yes, but I also knew early on I’d never be one of the greats.

You’re starting to see a pattern here and it continued in college.  I studied architecture (“I’ll be the next Frank Lloyd Wright!”) but only spent the first few years of my career in the field.  I had a good run with info technology companies (“Bill Gates!”) but never developed the level of expertise to be labeled a “techy”.  I write these weekly blog posts (“John Grisham!”) but have no plans for the next Great American Novel.

Here’s my point, and maybe you never saw it coming.  I find all of this dabbling and dreaming incredibly satisfying.  My interest in a subject or activity wanes well before it becomes an obsession, and then I simply move on to the next thing vying for my attention.  Why do I behave this way?  Two reasons.  First, I prefer to be a jack of all trades (or a master of none, if you will), not a virtuoso.  Second, more importantly, I am far too content with my life as it is to ever be tempted by the sacrifices necessary for the pursuit of singular success.

Michelangelo’s “David” 🙂

There’s a complimentary phrase for people like me: Renaissance Men.  We hearken back to the great thinkers and artists who came along just after the Middle Ages; Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo, for example, with “unquenchable curiosity” and “feverishly inventive imaginations”.  Mind you, I can’t paint like da Vinci or sculpt like Michelangelo, but my curiosity and imagination may run just as rampant.  The modern Renaissance Man, in a nutshell, has “broad interests” and “superficial talents”.  Me to a tee.

Playing in my head

The next time I hear Dvořák’s “New World Symphony”, I’ll think about playing the English horn.  Maybe I’ll sign up for lessons and eventually get good enough to play the “Largo” movement.  Maybe then I’ll join the local orchestra so I get the chance to perform in front of a live audience!  Yeah… probably not. Long before my much-anticipated stage debut, some other activity will vie for my attention and off I’ll go.

Some content sourced from Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Calling… Into Question

When I first started piano lessons as a kid, my teacher gave me a little book of scales and keyboard exercises called “Teaching Little Fingers to Play”. I came across that book again recently, and the title made me think about smartphones. Our grandchildren will get their very first phones one of these days, on which they’ll be teaching their little fingers – not their little voices – to play.  Maybe the first word they should type is T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Travis Tritt also wrote “T-R-O-U-B-L-E “, one of his country music hits from the 1990s.  The song’s chorus starts out with Well hello, T-R-O-U-B-L-E, Tell me what in the world, You doin’ A-L-O-N-E.  Kind of describes kids and their smartphones, doesn’t it?  They let their fingers do the talking instead of their voices.  It’s hardly a personal relationship with whoever’s on the other end, but more like the one you and I’ve developed through our back-and-forth blog comments.

If you’re an adult with kids who have smartphones, you’ve probably had the following conversation at some point in their lives: Daughter: I talked to Jacob today.  Dad:  Did you actually TALK to Jacob?  Daughter: Well no, we were texting but you know what I mean.  Sigh…

Telephones in transition

In a sense (or several senses), smartphones weaken our human connections instead of strengthen them.  Think about it: before the traditional telephone our default means of communication was face-to-face (sight).  Then the telephone comes along and we go ear-to-ear instead (sound).  Then the smartphone replaces ear-to-ear with typing (touch).  On the one hand it’s technical evolution; on the other, social regression.

Have a conversation with most members of Gen Z and you’ll want to type A-W-K-W-A-R-D.  The dialogue (if there actually is a dialogue) doesn’t flow.  They’re hesitant to offer insights or ask questions because they can’t back up the cursor and retype to get their words just right.  There are moments of uncomfortable silence; lots of them.

Moments of silence used to be a good thing.  Flashback to my teens, when a relationship with a girl meant spending a lot of time on the phone, defined as a corded handset held up to the ear (instead of a speakerphone where you multi-task).  Those conversations were priceless to a young person.  Phone calls helped to overcome shyness, and were practice to express feelings or ask a girl out on a date.  Sometimes we’d just stay on the line in silence, enjoying the fact we were the only person in each other’s moment.

The style I grew up with

Phone calls also helped me learn to talk to adults (and credit to my parents for not making them for me).  I still remember those first few dials to people or businesses, nervous over the fact it was me initiating the conversation.  What do I say?  Won’t I sound stupid?  I hope my voice doesn’t crack.

Texting absolutely has its merits, as a recent article in The Atlantic argued.  When exchanging brief, useful information, texting is dreamily efficient because there’s none of the “water cooler” effect.  As they say, get in, get out, and move on.  But when it comes to opinions, recommendations, or more detailed information, phone calls are essential, if only to allow the voice to add emphasis and/or emotion.  The Atlantic article made several arguments in support of the “gauche” phone call but surprisingly, “developing conversational skills” didn’t show up until the final paragraph.

Budding conversationalist

When I moved away from Colorado after almost thirty years, I left behind a particularly close friendship, one where we’d see each other weekly for an outdoor jog together.  But thanks to Zoom, I didn’t really leave it behind.  Once I got to South Carolina we looked at our calendars and booked a monthly videocall, where we could have the same conversations we had on the trail, with added ability to share photos, links, and documents in the moment.  Our conversations are as spontaneous as they were when we were face-to-face.  It’s a great way to keep in touch and maintain a relationship because technically… it’s a phone call.

Maybe Gen Z will figure this out before Gen A takes its rightful place as America’s youth.  If you can’t be face-to-face, at least pick up the phone and have a voice call.  Keep the topics light and spontaneous.  Let the conversation flow, and don’t get distracted by typing, emojis, or multi-tasking.  Build the relationship.

Dare I say it, there’s another word to be spelled on this topic: A-I.  I can envision a day when you’re talking to a friend, only you really aren’t because he or she has created an avatar who looks, talks, and thinks just like they do.  Heck, maybe their avatar is talking to your avatar, and you’re not even around to witness the conversation!  I’d call that another way to spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Christmas Customs Crisis?

In the 1971 movie Fiddler on the Roof, the musical numbers are familiar even fifty years after the fact. Songs like “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” and “Sunrise, Sunset” play in my head in the voices of those long-ago performers. But it’s the opening number – “Tradition” – I hear most clearly, in the robust voice of actor Topol. The lyrics, covering the expected roles of father, mother, son, and daughter, speak to maintaining things as they always were. Which brings me to Christmas, and my family’s somewhat threatened traditions.

The easy way out here would be to list mine and ask you for yours.  We’d probably have some traditions in common and others we’d be hearing about for the first time.  Instead let me ask, are any of them robust enough to make it through the long haul?  As fast as the world is changing, you have to wonder what Christmas celebrations will look like ten and twenty years from now.  Seriously, do you expect hard-copy Christmas cards in the 2030s?  (Will you even have a mailbox?)

The Christmas tree is a good place to start.  As I’ve blogged about before, our tree is always real (versus artificial), purchased from a nearby lot after choosing the best fit for the house and budget.  This year however, I admit to a pause when I saw the price tags on the branches.  I swear the cost of Christmas trees doubled from 2022.  Economics says it’s a case of supply and demand, but in this case both are declining.  Tree farms surrender to developers.  The preference for artificial trees has risen steadily over the past fifteen years (to 77% of us now).  So less trees and less demand.  My 2030 Christmas may include an artificial tree whether I like it or not.

Christmas dinner faces a similar challenge.  The beef tenderloin we prefer for our celebration is a once-a-year luxury but it’s about to become a never-a-year purchase.  Even at a big box like Costco a trimmed tenderloin sets you back $40 a serving.  You start to wonder if burgers wouldn’t be just as satisfying simply for the money saved.  Even better – snacking throughout the day, and then your Christmas dinner appetite will be satisfied by a few side dishes and dessert?

Christmas (Eve) church already faced its toughest test (COVID) but did it really survive?  I remember the service we attended in 2020… from the “comfort” of our car with the preacher and the choir at the edge of the church parking lot.  The next two Christmases brought parishioners back indoors… but in far fewer numbers.  I admit to getting comfortable with “laptop church” every now and then, but Christmas Eve will be in person as long as there are sanctuaries and services.

Christmas carols may be the one tradition where serious change is in order.  Maybe you heard; Brenda Lee’s 1958 version of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 this year .  That’s “staying power” (maybe staying a little too long) but it also suggests we’re not creating enough new music.  And how many versions of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” are we going to make before we decide not to change the lyrics but rather to ditch the song once and for all?  Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, and Karen Carpenter will always have a place on Christmas playlists. The rest are getting old and it’s time for more “new”.

Christmas lights don’t leave much room for debate.  Not only will they be shining brighter than ever in the 2030s, they’ll be holographic, animatronic, and experiential.  Instead of a drive-thru Christmas display, the display will probably drive through you.  You’ll also have the option of enjoying your neighbors’ displays from the comfort of your living room (using the “mixed reality” headset you got for Christmas).

Finally, Christmas movies have pretty much run their course because you can only spin so many stories around the holiday (and anything on the Hallmark Channel doesn’t qualify as a movie).  Having said that, I’ll go to my grave watching It’s A Wonderful Life every December.  Even if there are no Christmas cards, tree, or dinner, and I’m tortured with yet another version of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”, I know I can always find tradition and the true meaning of Christmas alongside Jimmy Stewart, in a little town called Bedford Falls.

Merry Christmas!

Some content sourced from Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Five Gold Rings

So… if it really was the fifth day of Christmas you wouldn’t be singing Christmas carols anymore, now would you? I mean, how many of us do Christmas anything after December 25th?  Not many.  Accordingly this post is an early Christmas present to you: five carols worthy of the coveted Gold Ring award. “It’s impossible”, you say. “Select only five Christmas carols?”  Yes, I get you, but today’s challenge isn’t fruit(cake)-less. We just need a few rules to refine the recipients:

  1. You can’t choose more than one from the same singer (which eliminates about five hundred from Amy Grant).
  2. You can’t choose more than one version of the same song (in other words, please dream of only one “White Christmas”).
  3. Your choices should dance into your head like sugar plums, instead of having to consult your several Spotify holiday playlists.
  4. (and perhaps the most difficult): Your choices should qualify as “carols” and not just “songs”.  I mean, c’mon people, if we’re giving out gold rings the music better convey the spirit of Christmas, right?

Here then, my five gold rings; the ones adorning my hand every Christmas for as long as I can remember (or at least, for as long as Carrie Underwood’s been alive).  They’re probably not the same as your five gold rings but that’s okay, because you wouldn’t give me the same presents I give you, would you?  Would you?

Sissel Kyrkjebo/Mormon Tabernacle Choir“In The Bleak Mid-Winter”.  The Methodist church I grew up in always reserved a spot for this 1906 carol in its Christmas Eve services, so it blooms with nostalgia for me.  Sissel’s angelic voice – backed by The Choir – captivates me every time, especially on the introspective lyrics of the final verse.  I think you’ll agree; Sissel is as graceful as one of those seven swans a-swimming.

Amy Grant“Breath of Heaven”.  I love everything Amy Grant sings about Christmas (until her 2016 album “Tennessee Christmas” came along, which was as bad as curdled eggnog).  I thought it would be difficult to choose just one of her carols, but “Breath of Heaven” is Amy’s unparalleled signature to Christmas.  The lyrics “Help me be strong… help me be… help me…” always get to me, and are as successive as three french hens, one after another.

Laura Story“I Lift My Eyes”.  Laura Story is a pastor, songwriter, and singer (better known for her contemporary Christian hit “Blessings”).  She sings from the heart.  Of the ten carols a-leaping on her Christmas album “God With Us”, “I Lift My Eyes” leaps the highest.  Frankly, it soars.

Michael W. Smith“Almost There”.  Bit of a cheat here because Amy Grant shares in the singing, but I still consider this one a standout Michael W. Smith carol.  The lyrics speak to Mary’s journey to Bethlehem, her journey to the birth itself, and anyone’s journey through Advent to Christmas.  You could also say it’s a carol about the partridge pursuing the pear tree, but not quite to the branches yet.

Carrie Underwood“All Is Well”.  Michael W. Smith also gets the credit for this one, which was recorded by two other artists before this latest rendition.  The lyrics are simple and repetitive, but with Carrie’s ridiculous range you’ve got something more powerful than eleven pipers piping.  Carrie draws out the final (all is) “well” for so long, you’ll wonder if it isn’t New Years Day when the carol is done.

So there you have them, and now it’s time for your own gold rings.  Remember, five off the top of your head, only one per singer, only one version of any choice, and music that speaks reverently to the season.  Gift your rings back to me in the comments and we’ll feel as cozy as two turtle doves.  Whatever those are.

It’s Thanksgiving Season (#4)

Well now, I told you the Thanksgiving season would fly by didn’t I?  Those 23 days came, went, and BAM! here we are – Thanksgiving Day itself.  Good thing you kept a Gratitude Calendar like I asked you to.  You did keep one, didn’t you – the list of things you’re grateful for this season?  No, you can’t have my list (who are you, that kid who copied off of others in grade school?) but I will let you read it:

  1. WordPress, which allowed me to schedule this post ahead of time so I can spend Thanksgiving Day focused on much more important things.
  2. Thanksgiving cards, purchased for family and friends before the torrent of Christmas cards pushed them off the shelves.
  3. Our son, visiting this weekend all the way from Colorado.
  4. Witnessing my beloved alma mater face Clemson on the football field (even if Notre Dame “didn’t show up”).
  5. Today’s extra hour of sleep, even if I couldn’t manage to sleep for an extra hour.
  6. Babysitting my granddaughter, even if she produced what I’d politely call a “blowout”.
  7. Making it to the car dealership safely on a suspect front left wheel.
  8. Repair of that wheel by mechanics who know a lot more about fixing cars than I do.
  9. A perfectly still morning with the dog and a cup of coffee before easing into the day’s activities.
  10. My mother, who was born on this day 95 years ago.
  11. My body, which allows me to continue the regular, rigorous workouts I enjoy.
  12. My wife, my endless source of love and laughter.
  13. The quiet, peaceful, safe community I live in (and utterly take for granted).
  14. A long-awaited rain shower, and hopefully the first of many.
  15. The many entertaining blog posts from my “online family”: those I faithfully follow and who faithfully follow me.
  16. The family and friends who keep us tied to our former years in Colorado.
  17. A perfect fall day in Colorado, allowing me to accomplish the many things I had on my agenda.
  18. The reunion of my wife’s family with her mother (a gathering that hasn’t taken place in over ten years).
  19. A visit with my Colorado granddaughters, and the opportunity to walk my eldest to kindergarten the following morning.
  20. A visit with my best buddy and his wife, and the realization our relationship will stay strong no matter the time or distance.
  21. The countless workers in the airline industry who make travelling safe, including the singing traffic cop at the airport crosswalk.
  22. The simple comforts of being back at home 
  23. My brothers and their families, who I will truly miss this year as they gather together in Williamsburg, VA.

And… that’s enough for today.  You should be focused on family and friends anyway, not blog posts.  Wait – one more thing – a throwback term to mix in with your Thanksgiving spread: requital (with the middle part of the word pronounced like “quite”).  A requital is a return or a reward for an act of kindness.  Here’s how Beethoven used it back when he was still making music: As a slight requital of your kind souvenir, I take the liberty to send you some variations, and a Rondo with violin accompaniment.  Fancy, huh?  Now, go impress your guests around the table by using your new word.

Oh, and if you didn’t keep a calendar of things to be thankful for? Seriously, what are you waiting for?  C’mon, get grateful already!

It’s Thanksgiving Season (#3)

Earlier this week the first Christmas card arrived in the mail.  For heaven’s sake it’s not even November 25th, people.  Then we stopped by Chick-fil-A and my wife asked if they had their Peppermint Chip milkshake, which of course they did because it’s “Christmas season”.  Finally, we’re seeing strings of colored lights and decorations on houses already.  Am I losing the battle of the Thanksgiving season with a full week still to go?  Maybe I need a different tack with my campaign.

Let’s talk about Thanksgiving dishes today.  Are yours made of pottery, wood, metal, or glass?  Oh, you thought I meant food.  Well, yes, I do, but somehow we’ve stretched the definition of “any container used at the table” to also mean what’s in or on that container.  So let’s talk about that.  Have a favorite dish at Thanksgiving?  Of course you do; everybody does.  In fact, the better question is, if your Thanksgiving “dish” is a “favorite” then why don’t you serve it all year round?

Here are my three favorite Thanksgiving dishes for your consideration:

Stuffing.  Nine out of ten Thanksgiving stuffing recipes never made it into the bird in the first place.  Okay so I made that up, but I find it funny when a food that is “inside” by definition was never, ever inside.  Whatever.  Stuffing used to be that little pile of gently-spiced spongy material sitting benignly aside your helping of turkey.  I’d ignore it or push it around a little but most of this autumn pillow fluff never made it onto my fork.  Then I met my wife.  You could hibernate for an entire holiday season on my wife’s stuffing recipe.  It starts with ground sirloin and pork sausage and a whole lot of butter.  It ends with a ton of seasonings and spices, including sage and something called “parsley” (more on that later).  Forget the turkey… if a food ever deserved to be called “main course” it’s my wife’s stuffing recipe.

Cranberry sauce.  Is there a more wasted food on earth than cranberry sauce?  Seriously, this poor little enhancement sees the light of day only once a year, where it sits on your plate for the length of the meal before being scraped mercilessly into the kitchen trash.  How many people really make the perfect Thanksgiving “bite” – a combo of turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce?  Not many.  I think cranberry sauce was created to brighten an otherwise autumn-colored “dish”.  Chateaubriand has its Béarnaise sauce.  Lamb has its mint jelly.  Turkey seems to acknowledge cranberry sauce as a garnish at best: something ornamental instead of “food”.

worthless

Speaking of garnishes, can we all agree parsley is the perfect example of one?  Yes, you’re adding color to the plate, but don’t you always wonder what you’re supposed to do with those little green trees?  Just like the colorful toothpicks you sometimes find holding your sandwich together, parsley is the first thing you remove (at least cranberry sauce rides out the plate for the entire meal).  Parsley is transported from wherever it invaded your plate (and what the heck is it doing in my wife’s stuffing, anyway?) to your bread plate, where it lays until its ultimate demise.  The relevance of parsley to the Thanksgiving meal (and to any “dish” for that matter) remains a mystery.  One I don’t have time for in this post.

Mince pie (AKA “heaven on earth”)

Mince pie.  We conclude my favorites with the most underappreciated, over-carb’d dessert of them all.  Mincemeat pie really did include meat back when the Pilgrims were celebrating Thanksgiving with swans and seals, but eventually someone (who deserves a medal) thought to remove the meat and add a whole lot of sugar to the chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits, and Thanksgiving spices.  The result is a pie that is scrumptious in some books (mine) and a veritable construction material in others (everyone else’s).  Seriously, this stuff is a brick.  It’s like pecan pie – or concrete – only ten times as dense.  And don’t forget to soften the blow with a little brandied hard sauce on top.  The spiked whipped cream is so good my wife skips the pie and has a dollop of the sauce instead.  But if you ask me, she’s missing out on the real dessert.

Your Thanksgiving dinner will no doubt include a favorite “dish” or two this season (glass? metal?) which should also make you wonder why you don’t eat it more often.  Is it because the Thanksgiving season is special, and you don’t want to dilute the magic by having your favorites year-round?  Yes, I think that’s the reason.  Thanksgiving deserves its own “dishes”… and it’s own season.  So c’mon, get grateful already!

Some content sourced from the Delish article, “50 Traditional Dishes You Need For The Ultimate Thanksgiving Menu” (mince pie is conspicuously absent from the list).  The parsley rant is a loving shout-out to my sister-in-law. 

It’s Thanksgiving Season (#2)

So here we are, nine days into the Thanksgiving season already.  Didn’t the time positively fly  (even with the extra hour last Sunday)?  Have you already booked your travel to visit loved ones later in the month? Have you already made pumpkin pie (because you can never have enough pumpkin pie, so why wait until Thanksgiving Day)?  Whatever you’ve done for the past nine days, I’ve already hinted at the three “F’s” of Thanksgiving: food, family, and friends.  Now let’s add a fourth.

Not football.  Not fun runs.  The most important Thanksgiving “F” is full; as in “full of thanks”.  You are thankful this season, aren’t you?  If you joined my bandwagon from last week’s post, you already have nine reasons (or nine people) to be thankful for.  Keep that list going until the big day, band-wagoner.

Now that you know the four (not three) “F’s” of Thanksgiving, let’s visit five facts you probably don’t know about the holiday.  Here’s a morsel for your taste buds: the very first Thanksgiving feast probably included lobster, deer, swans, and seals.  PETA and I struggle with those last two, but the list stands to reason because we’re talking pilgrims and Indians on the coast of Massachusetts, four hundred years ago, making merry for three straight days.  Those flavorful “entrees” were abundant back then, with nary a turkey to be found.

Too cute to eat!

Remember last week’s mention of Abraham Lincoln making Thanksgiving a holiday?  That was in 1863, declared as every last Thursday in November.  Seventy-odd years later, Franklin D. Roosevelt moved Thanksgiving Day one week earlier to extend the shopping season during the Great Depression.  But some states pushed back on Roosevelt’s pushback so in the 1940s you had several years with multiple Thanksgiving Days (more turkey for everyone – hooray!)  Eventually the compromise was made as we know it today: one Thanksgiving Day, the fourth Thursday of every November.

My wife and I love dinner in front of the TV, don’t you?  But have you actually eaten a TV dinner?  You know, the frozen full meal in a box, with the tiny portions of generic food in the partitioned aluminum-foil tray?  Well, you can thank Thanksgiving for TV dinners.  Swanson overestimated the demand for turkey one year, and in a totally give-that-person-a-raise move, converted 260 tons of leftover turkey into 5,000 hand-packed dinners, complete with dressing, gravy, peas, and sweet potatoes, at a mere $0.98 a pop.  A year later they’d sold ten million of them.  Voila – the birth of the TV dinner.

Trivia question: What teams always play football on Thanksgiving Day?  Trivia answer: the Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions.  Better trivia question: What teams first played football on Thanksgiving Day? Answer: Yale and Princeton way-y-y-y back in 1876.  I didn’t even know football was a sport in 1876.  As for games played on Thanksgiving Day, I would’ve guessed they started like, a hundred years after that.

If your Aunt Betty spends a little too much time at the holiday punch bowl and thinks it’s funny to start gobble-gobble-gobbling at your kids, you might want to remind her females don’t gobble.  Er, female turkeys that is. The signature Thanksgiving sound is reserved for the males of the species.  Female turkeys have been known to purr and cackle instead.  This is good information for your Aunt Betty (the purr , not the cackle).

Pay it “backward”

Okay, enough what-you-didn’t-know fun for today.  Let’s wrap with another nod to being thank-full (or, if you will, having “gra-attitude”).  I love this time of year because Starbucks gives away free coffee.  Okay, so they’re not really giving away free coffee.  Instead, drive-thru patrons continue the seasonal tradition of paying for the car behind them (and driving off quickly so as to remain anonymous).  I go to Starbucks more often just to participate (as payer, not payee).  So, for whatever you are grateful for, share that happy feeling with the people behind you in line.  Not a patron of Starbucks?  Doesn’t matter; any drive-thru will do.  So c’mon, get grateful already!

Some content sourced from the October 2023 Town & Country Magazine article, “14 Surprising Facts You Never Knew About Thanksgiving”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Not-So-Thruways

We live on a long, straight-run residential street, with the option to exit at either end to access the outside world.  Close by, a cluster of our neighbors live on a short, stubby lane, where you won’t get very far before having to turn around and go back the way you came.  A sign posted at their street’s entrance declares, “Not A Through Street”.  It’s what the French – and we Americans – call a cul-de-sac.

In a rather desperate effort to come up with something Halloween-related this week, I landed weakly on “dead-end streets”.  Of course, these tiny avenues are often very much alive.  Cul-de-sac’s host a quaint gathering of houses, with a few on the straight run and even fewer around the end circle.  The setup allows these neighbors to get to know each other easier.  And with so little traffic, the end circle encourages kids to do what their parents normally nix: play in the street.

But maybe I shouldn’t paint/assume such a rosy picture (especially with Halloween right around the corner).  What if your neighbor living right next door on that little end circle is someone you’d sooner see in a horror movie?  Or what if the statistics are true: even more people are struck by cars on a cul-de-sac because of the assumed safety of a quiet street?  Finally, consider the double-hyphenated phrase staring you right in the face.  Cul-de-sac – French translation – “bottom of bag”.  Suddenly your house feels like one of those throwaway candies you find deep down in your trick-or-treat sack.

I didn’t know “cul-de-sac” had such a negative connotation.  I found it rather quaint because it’s double-hyphenated (and French).  Curious, I went in search of other double-hyphenated words to see if I could find something more positive.  Know-it-allWord-of-mouth (which is often gossip).  Son-in-law.  Okay, that last one has potential.  I mean, he’s only been married to my daughter for year now, so…

Here’s a really nasty double-hyphenated for you.  Fer-de-lance.  It means “head of spear”, which isn’t so nasty until you realize it’s the name of a snake; an extremely poisonous viper who lives in the tropics.  The fer-de-lance was the killer (literally) in a 1974 movie by the same name.  A movie I never should’ve watched at the fairly innocent age of twelve.  Fer-De-Lance was the original Snakes on a Plane, only the plane was a submarine carrying a crate full of deadly creepy-crawlies.  How’s that for Halloween-scary?

Like Fer-De-Lance, Cul-De-Sac was also a movie (1966), about “a hermit living with his wife in a large dank castle on an island… terrorized by two escaped prisoners.”  Not exactly a romantic comedy, and no explanation of the film’s title, other than maybe this couple finding themselves at their ultimate dead-end.

Let’s circle back to the suburban version of the cul-de-sac (please!)  Two addresses ago we actually lived on one.  There were two houses on each side of the straight-run and four houses on the end-circle.  We lived on the circle.  Were we tight with our neighbors?  No!  Each of our driveways were long and steep so our houses were actually pretty far apart.  I still remember how we’d greet our neighbors faithfully only one day out of the year.  What day?  Halloween, when we’d accompany our kids to their front doors.

We need to end this more-Halloween-than-I thought post on a positive note, so I don’t have you thinking about poisonous snakes and escaped prisoners.  Cul-de-Sac is a locale on the beautiful Caribbean island of Saint Martin.  It was also the name of a 1990s alternative rock band.  And Cul-de-Sac was the title of “a light-hearted comic strip centered around a four-year-old and her suburban life experiences.”  Okay, now we’re talking.

Some advice before I close.  If you live on a cul-de-sac, I suggest you double-stock the candy this Halloween.  After all, trick-or-treaters who make it to your dead-end street may find themselves going round and round the end circle without realizing what they’re doing.  Keep an eye out for repeat customers.

Some content sourced from Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Fuzzies and Buzzies

My granddaughter, almost six months now, adores her soft-stuffed black-and-yellow bumblebee.  Her little buzzy has a Velcro loop to attach to the car seat or stroller. In her first months, she fixated on Mr. Bee like a best friend.  Today she takes an interest in other things, but I told her mother to set the bee aside as a future keepsake.  Doesn’t everybody wish they still had their first stuffed animal?  Well, I sure do, and mine was more fuzzy than buzzy.

“Baa-a-a-a!”

Nope, not a bear.  Not a dog, not a cat, a fox or a tiger.  My one-and-only stuffed animal was a lamb.  An off-white fuzz-filled plush-soft domesticated farm critter, about 12″ head to hooves.  I named him “Lambie”.  We were inseparable for years.

I’m not here to revisit childhood memories (though it’s remarkable how a cherished wooly companion comes back to mind).  Instead, I want to give sheep their due.  I think sheep are one of the world’s most overlooked animals.  At the farm, everyone pretty much skips the bleating balls of fluff in favor of the more interesting horses, cows, and pigs.  At the zoo it’s the lions, tigers, and bears instead.  And I get it.  Timid, fuzzy herbivores just don’t inspire awe.  So how about instead, we take a look at what you don’t know about sheep:

“Hey! I like ewe!”
  • They have rectangular pupils.  I’ve always thought it was cool how horses can see to the left and right without moving their heads.  Sheep have it even better; a full 270 degrees of vision, meaning the only thing they can’t see is what’s directly behind them.
  • They’re more intelligent than you think.  Sheep can retain the details of fifty faces – human or otherwise – and recall them two years later (no idea how we know this).  They can also be led through a maze and then solve it on their own the second time around, probably because…
  • They have an excellent sense of smell, thanks to scent glands in front of their eyes and in their hooves.  Sheep can leave their scent behind as a sort of trail of bread crumbs while on the move.
  •  They self-medicate.  I’m not pulling the wool over your eyes here.  Sheep can identify plants and other substances having no nutritional value but with healing properties.  They also pass this information on to their offspring.

Now let’s change the channel to what you already know about sheep.  They are followers in every sense of the word (hence the label for like-minded humans).  They are timid, easily led, and never without their flocks.  Just watch this speedy video to see how our fuzzy friends stick together.

Sheep have little ability to defend themselves (how would they when they’re essentially balls of fluff on sticks?)  As a result, they’re in constant fear of their predators. In fact, sheep are so much “flight” versus “fight”, they sometimes die of self-inflicted panic attacks.

Care about them or not, sheep find their way into the narrative.  If not a lamb for a stuffed animal, you learned nursery rhymes like “Baa Baa Black Sheep” (have you any wool?), “Mary Had a Little Lamb”, and “Little Bo Peep” (has lost her sheep).  Maybe you’ve counted sheep (jumping over fences) while trying to fall asleep.  Or listened to Bach’s “Sheep May Safely Graze” while trying to relax.  Dodge’s best-selling truck is the “Ram” and  Los Angeles’s NFL team is the “Rams”.  Most noteworthy, in 1996 an ewe named “Dolly” became the first mammal of any kind cloned from a single cell.  Do sheep matter?  You bet your shears they do.

So if you’re sheepish I say, “Be proud to be so!”  If you’re something of a black sheep I say, “Consider yourself ‘outstanding'”!  And if you’re like me, a dyed-in-the-wool fan of fluff balls on sticks, choose fuzzies over buzzies every time.

Some content sourced from the BCSPCA article, “10 fun facts about sheep”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

Fresh-Breath Foods

There was a time, not so long ago, when the Girl Scouts knocked on your front door instead of standing outside your local supermarket, selling their popular cookies. My wife would tease me because I never had the heart to turn down the cute little uniformed kids on my doorstep. But let the record show, I really do like Girl Scout cookies. And if I had the money to buy just one box, it’d be the Thin Mints every time.

Nature’s fresh-breath herb

I’ve been a mint fan as long as I can remember.  I’m not talking about foods (yet) so much as the flavor itself.  Peppermint, spearmint, wintergreen, or even a fresh sprig right out of the ground – they all speak to me with a sort of spicy vibe.  I find a food so “tasteful” when it’s freshening your breath at the same time.

For a hot minute I thought the Girl Scout Thin Mints were gone for good.  A recent headline teased the departure of a “cult-favorite” cookie flavor and I feared the Mints had run their course.  Instead, it’s the lookalike “Raspberry Rally” calling it quits.  No harm, no foul.  As long as I can still buy the Thin Mints (and an occasional Caramel Delite) I’ll happily fork over the $5 (now $6) a box.

Mint-striped “humbug” candies

Had the Thin Mints really been gone for good, I needn’t look far to find other fresh-breath foods.  Who doesn’t like a scoop of peppermint or mint chocolate-chip ice cream?  A pack of Mentos?  Listerine?  Heck, I’ll even settle for that gritty peppermint paste the hygienist uses to polish your teeth.

Brach’s “Star Brights”

Minty consumables really do run the gamut.  You’ll find over fifty global brands of breath mints, including Altoids (my favorite), Breath Savers, Certs, Clorets, Ice Breakers, Tic Tac, and Velamints.  But put all of these together and you still wouldn’t come close to the Starlight Mint population.  The origin of Starlights is one of the world’s great mysteries.  Brach’s Candy claims their invention, but if so then why do they call them “Star Brights”?

If Starlights are too dime-store for your taste perhaps you prefer the softer texture of a “butter mint”.  Butters are often found, individually wrapped, in the lobbies of fine restaurants (gone are the days where you’d just spoon yourself a handful on the way out the door).  I’ve always thought a butter mint is caught in a quandary,  Does it identify more as “butter” or “mint”?

Mint julep

Speaking of a refined palate, minty liquors make for some mighty fine beverages.  The first drink my wife and I ever shared was hot chocolate and peppermint schnapps from a thermos at our college’s movie night.  A grasshopper (and my wife has a killer recipe for one) is a fresh-breath milkshake made with crème de menthe.  And the Kentucky Derby’s mint julep is more bourbon than mint but you’ll always find fresh sprigs garnishing the top.

If not the Starlights, my first introduction to mint was probably packs of Life Savers.  There used to be several mint flavors of “the candy with the hole in the middle” including Wint-O-Green, Stik-O-Pep, and Spear-O-Mint.  But when the trendier Mentos and Tic-Tac came along, Life Savers headed for the rear-view mirror.

Mistake-O-Mint

No mention of mint would be complete without a couple of failures (at least IMHO).  In the 1970s the makers of Starburst came out with a short-lived minty version called Pacers.  They never worked for me because I always expected those chewy little squares to be fruit-flavored.  Nabisco’s Oreo, which blossomed into 85+ varieties from their black-and-white signature sandwich cookie, include ones with green mint filling.  No, just no.  Oreos are meant to be the vanilla originals.  Food-color them orange for Halloween if you will but don’t change the taste.

[Side advertisement: The next time I fly overseas I’ll have to give Jet Blue’s Mint class a try.  Their individual “apart-mint” cubicles allow you to lie flat, with lots of cushions, a TV, and plenty of storage space for your carry-on items.  Fancy, huh?  All that’s missing is a chocolate mint on your memory foam pillow before you drift off to sleep.]

France’s “Monnaie de Paris” Mint

Here’s a chicken-or-egg question.  Which mint came first, the flavor itself or the stodgy industrial facility which manufactures coins?  I always thought it’d be cool to work in a mint.  You’re handling millions of dollars every day and if someone asked what you do for a living, you just say casually, “Oh, I make money.”  And If it were up to me I’d give all those coins a sweet-smelling scent on their way out the door so they’d be “freshly-minted” two times over.

Our Christmas celebrations used to include a box of Frango Mints, the melt-in-your-mouth chocolates you could buy at Chicago’s Marshall Field’s.  These days we go with Williams-Sonoma peppermint bark.  Our tree will always welcome a peppermint candy cane or two.  And if a Girl Scout should ever knock on my front door again, I’ll be happy to help her meet her quota, because the Thin Mints will always be a breath of fresh air.

Some content sourced from the CNN Business article, “The Girl Scouts are discontinuing a cult-favorite cookie”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.