(Not So) Gently Down the Stream

The small gym I belong to has a fairly set routine with its instructor-led classes. You spend a half-hour on the treadmill and another half on the weight floor, effectively giving the heart and muscles equal attention. The runner in me prefers the treadmill but the brain in me knows – at my age – the weights are the more critical component. Now if only they didn’t throw in the rower every now and then.

torture device

If you belong to a gym yourself, I’d be curious to know what piece of equipment (or kind of workout) appeals to you most.  Some people get lost in a treadmill run by following a virtual trail or listening to a really good playlist.  Others stomp endlessly on the stair-stepper like they’re climbing the Empire State Building.  Fans of the elliptical machine look like cross-country skiers going back-and-forth to nowhere.  But where-oh-where are the rowing machines?  Oh, they’re parked way over in the corner, just begging somebody to jump on.

I can’t remember when I first I tried the rower but I do remember thinking, there is nothing appealing whatsoever about this exercise.  A straight back is critical to avoid injury (something I learned years later), and your arms and legs get a heckuva workout.  But unlike say, planks, the workout on your abs is not as obvious.  Not until later the same day at least, when you can’t sit or stand without midriff pain.

The Brothers Maclean

The topic of rowing makes it into my blog because of a recent and ridiculous world record.  Three brothers – Ewan, Jamie, and Lachlan Maclean (how’s that for Scottish?) – just finished a row from Peru (the country) to Australia (also the country) in 139 days.  That’s 9,000 miles for those of you who didn’t scurry over to Google Maps to find out.

As if 9,000 miles isn’t impressive enough, the Macleans row-row-rowed their boat continuously, which is to say they never stopped.  Two brothers rowed while one brother slept.  Their food supply was fresh fish (of course) or the occasional freeze-dried meal.  The brothers endured everything you’d expect the Pacific Ocean to throw at them: seasickness, tropical storms, a shrinking food supply, and so on.  One of the brothers even went man-overboard one night when a rogue wave came out of nowhere.

The Maclean vessel

“World record” implies someone gave this crazy journey a shot before the Macleans did.  Yep, a Russian made the same trip in 2014, only he did it solo.  Don’t these crazies know they can get their rowing fill at a nearby gym?

Maybe your image if rowing is a little more romantic, as in crew, where teams of athletes scull long, narrow boats down rivers in races against each other.  Crew really is elegance in motion whether “eights” or “singles”, the long oars moving back and forth in perfect synchronization to generate the glide, with hardly a disturbance to the water below.  Crew is Oxford, Harvard, and Yale.  Crew is outdoors on a picturesque, tree-lined river.  Crew is anything but synonymous with the pursuit of a world record on the Pacific Ocean.

Speaking of racing, my little gym often injects “challenges” into our workouts by timing performance against a set distance.  On the rower, the longest go is 2,000 meters, which most of us do in say, 8-10 minutes.  I’ll admit, the competitor in me tolerates rowing just a sliver more when I’m on the clock.  I close my eyes and pretend I’m in the Olympics, going for the gold.  Okay no, I don’t do that at all.  I just stare in the mirror in front of me with agony written all over my face instead.

Why in the world is she smiling?

My 2,000m gym row equates to about a mile and a quarter.  Great.  My online calculator says I only need another 7,200 rounds to make it to 9,000 miles.  But hey, if I can maintain my pace and never sleep, I’ll go the distance in 50 days!  Shatters the Maclean world record!  Yeah, no.  Not only am I putting down my rowing machine “oars”, I’m heading back to the treadmill with hopes of putting this torture device completely out of my mind.

Some content sourced from the CNN World article, “Scottish brothers complete record 139-day row across Pacific…”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

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Author: Dave

Five hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

23 thoughts on “(Not So) Gently Down the Stream”

  1. I have to admit I’m not much of an exercise person. I force myself to exercise by building heavy things like decks that require lifting heavy lumber or concrete … but going to a gym might be easier and more consistant.

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  2. My mind DID go immediately to crew racing, having been enthralled with Daniel James Brown’s book, The Boys in the Boat. He tells the incredible story about the crew team that went to the 1936 Olympics held in Berlin, Germany. Maybe you could listen to the audio while you row, Dave. It just might take you 9,000 miles to finish the book, but you WON’T be bored! (You may have seen the movie, but of course the book contains much more detail.)

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    1. It’s among the best books I’ve ever read, Nancy. I couldn’t believe the extent of the research, on the American crew team as well as the sport of rowing. I learned a ton. And I’m glad I didn’t see the movie first. There was no way Clooney was going to capture the extent of this story in a two-hour movie. Worthy effort, but the book stands alone.

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  3. Interesting story about the rowers. We have a rowing machine at our gym, but I have never tried it – it seems like torture.

    Do you exercise to music? Whether I walk outside or on the treadmill, my Spotify playlist is what keeps me going! Same thing with weight training – music!

    At the Arizona house, I like the stationary bike (in addition to my morning walk.) The bike is a great place to read books from the little library connected to the gym!

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    1. No ear buds or headphones for me, Margy. I like to run unencumbered and simply watch/listen to whatever’s around me. I understand why so many people choose to get lost in music, podcasts, etc, but I’m able to do the same by simply running. Good on you with the stationary bike. I used to go to spin classes twice a week (before joining the gym I belong to now) and I could never get enough of that kind of exercise.

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  4. Those were some fun facts Dave. That’s an incredible feat by the three Scotsmen and I’m glad they recovered their man/brother overboard. All the fresh fish they could eat, besides a few freeze-dried meals, plus all the rowing, would make them quite streamlined and in great physical shape and probably lost a few pounds as well. It’s been years since I belonged to a health club, but I think I favored the stair climber and bicycle most of all. I do have an exercise bike in the basement now. I like walking the shoreline of the Detroit River in Wyandotte and I was there last week – no skiffs were out as it was mid-week and the young rowers are in school. I like watching the rowers taking the skiffs out of the boathouse, walking down to the launch site (in their absence there were about 50 seagulls snoozing away on the launch pad) and also watching them row. They participate in several regattas every Summer.

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    1. Someone who walks as much as you do has no need for exercise equipment, Linda. I also prefer outdoor exercise over anything in a gym. If the weather cooperates, I’ll always choose a run in the neighborhood over the treadmill.

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      1. I did a lot of bike time in the basement this Summer Dave – our heat and humidity and the wildfire smoke made it oppressive to walk at times. My walking regimen took a big hit this year, first with ice and snow, Spring rain, then Summer miseries. I know what you mean though – I’d much rather be outside too. Staying inside, in one place, time drags on and on.

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    1. I think you have a smart mix going there, Lyssy. I could use a little yoga myself, if only to improve my flexibility and keep stress at bay. If I had to choose one piece of home equipment, it’d be the same one you have – the stationary cycle. I tried my son’s Peloton once and really liked it (just not the price!)

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      1. I drank the peloton koolaid in 2020 and it still gets ridden 5x a week between the two of us. Their app has a lot of good yoga and strength classes so I do that while Violet naps. Sometimes it’s too hard to get in the elevator and go down to the gym in our building 😂

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  6. I read about those brothers. I was torn between saying “yay” or “are you nuts?” No answer.

    But hey, if I can maintain my pace and never sleep, I’ll go the distance in 50 days!  Funniest line I’ve read today.

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    1. I’ve never understood why so many people despise raisins (or olives, for that matter). Is it the color? The dry, weathered look and feel? I was raisin’d – er, raised on countless little red boxes of the Sun Maid variety. Raisins are a sweet, convenient, healthy snack. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t challenge your World Record, but only because you’ve asked me not to.

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  8. If you decide to go for the record and need a 3rd guy, I’m in. One condition though – I have to be the guy who sleeps. I promise to occasionally wake up and ask “Are we there yet? I’m hungry.”

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    1. The problem with me going for the record is, the Scots’ boat looks awfully claustrophobic for a 109-day journey. I might go crazy before I get anywhere near the finish line. But I get it; the smaller the boat the less the weight behind the oars. Having said that I can’t figure out where rower #3 (you) sleeps – in the bow, in the stern, or outside in the middle?

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  9. Those guys are crazy. Sushi or a freeze dried meal for 139 days? They must have had a companion boat spotting them? My idea of rowing is at Cambridge….or maybe that’s punting…..or maybe I just watch too many PBS period dramas. When I was doing cardiac rehab after my open heart surgery I used the treadmill machine, and actually enjoyed it. But I’m competitive so I would add on 5 minutes to each session to see if I could beat my previous time, eventually getting up to 50 minutes, which was probably a bit too much. With some good tunes on and a tv screen to watch the time flew by. I skipped the arm machine (too painful for my incision) and the bike/knee machine. I might buy my own treadmill machine for this winter as I hate to go to the gym.

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    1. I didn’t consider whether the Scots had a companion boat but there was no mention of it in the article. Pretty sure they went it alone. Even with whatever instruments and technology they had onboard, the whole adventure just strikes me as nuts.

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  10. About a year ago, I added the new rowing machine at the gym to my workout routine, but at three months in, my shoulders became quite painful! When I finally went to the doctor, he asked if I’d been doing any repetitive arm movements. I listed a few things, and the moment I said, “rowing machine,” he cut me off with “Say no more!” Diagnosis: frozen shoulder.

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