The Game of the Name

When our youngest granddaughter was born last year, I wouldn’t have guessed her first name was the most popular among newborn girls in the U.S.  Olivia is the current front-runner (and Liam for boys), as it has been for the last six years. Emma sits firmly in second place (and Noah) – also on a six-year streak – while Amelia (and Oliver) takes third. It’s nice to see the use of “normal” names in this day and age because you’ve got to admit; some really odd ones float around out there.  But there’s another list of baby names you probably don’t know about: the ones you’re not allowed to use.

Two or three generations ago, the topic of baby naming wouldn’t have made for interesting reading.  Back then parents defaulted to monikers from their family tree or from the Bible.  In the decade of my birth for example (the 1960s), the most popular names for boys were Michael, David, John, and James.  Compare those to today’s “trendy” choices: Truce, Colsen, Bryer, and Halo. (Colsen aside, I’d be hard-pressed to guess the gender of any of the others.)

At least Halo is legal.  The U.S. Constitution protects a parent’s right to name their child, yet the courts still came up with a not-an-option list.  Including the following:

  1. King
  2. Queen
  3. Jesus Christ
  4. III
  5. Santa Claus
  6. Majesty
  7. Adolph Hitler
  8. Messiah
  9. @
  10. 1069

Right off the bat you can understand why most of these would cause problems.  If your baby’s name is “King” I’m looking for his bejeweled crown.  If your baby’s name is “Jesus Christ” I’m looking for a crown of a different sort.  As for Santa Claus, the courts in Miracle on 34th Street may have determined he and Kris Kringle were one and the same but let’s be honest: Nobody south of the North Pole should be named Santa Claus.

“III” and “1069” require a little more explanation.  Both are examples from real court cases where persons decided a numeral or number were preferable to their given name (seriously?)  But the courts denied both petitions, deciding numerals and numbers fall more appropriately into the category of “symbol” than “name”.  The same can be said of the @ sign, which better belongs in your email address than in your signature block.

U.S. federal guidelines seem sensible enough but the individual states add more rules.  Consider New York, where your first name can be no longer than 30 characters, while in Arizona it can be up to 45.  Rhode Island won”t allow you to put an accent above any character.  In New Mexico you can’t name your baby boy “Baby Boy” (nor your baby girl “Baby Girl”).  And in Arkansas you can’t name your child “Test” or “Void” because they wreak havoc with the state computer systems.

The game of the name is not unique to the United States.  Indeed, the lists of illegal names in other countries include some really creative ones.  Here are my favorites:

  • “Thor” – Portugal banned this one but only because they don’t consider Thor to be a word in the Portuguese language.
  • “IKEA” or “Ikea” – Banned in Sweden (of course!)
  • “Judas”, “Cain”, etc. – Switzerland doesn’t wish to promote the Bible’s bad guys.
  • “Fish” and “Chips” – New Zealand decided no child deserves either of these names alongside his or her twin.
  • “Spinach” – Australia said no to the green veggie, probably also warning the parents that just because spinach is good for you doesn’t mean your child will also be.

Considering what my granddaughter could’ve been named I’m glad her parents went with Olivia, even if she is one Olivia among many.  At least her name need not be contested in court… like the French couple who wanted their child to be named “Nutella” and were promptly denied.  They did settle on “Ella” – which is nice enough (and maybe her cutesy nickname will be “Nut”) – but if I were that crazy about Nutella I would’ve just gone with “Hazel”.

Some content sourced from the Parents.com website article, “32 Illegal Baby Names You Might Want To Keep Off Your List”, and Wikipedia, “the free encyclopedia”.

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Author: Dave

Five hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

19 thoughts on “The Game of the Name”

  1. I do know a lawyer named Colonel. That made me wonder if we should have named our children Senator, Governor, or some such name that would be helpful getting seated in a restaurant. I guess I knew instinctively that President was too much. I have researched those popular name lists before but never came across the banned names until I read your post today!

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    1. The banned list was news to me too. Now that I think about it, one of my recent posts has me thinking I should’ve changed my name to “Ambassador” 🙂

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  3. I adore information about names. Once upon a time I went to a doctor, a MD, whose middle name was W10. Thus I knew that it was legal to have a number as part of your name, but like you, I had to wonder: seriously?

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    1. “Normal” names have interesting enough stories behind them so you have to wonder why a person goes for something “abnormal”.

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  4. Interesting info! Fortunately the Texas women who was named ‘Ima Hogg’ did very well in life, despite her name!

    My grandchildren all have unusual names, though not overly strange. One of them, Fisher, is following in his Father’s and Grandfathers’ footsteps – all are avid fly fishermen.

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    1. We named our kids according to how “solid” the name was, still strong regardless of shorter versions, nicknames, etc. Like yours, our choices really couldn’t be messed with.

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  6. That was interesting. I had heard Olivia was popular, although I don’t know any personally. But Truce or Halo? You’re setting your kid up for a lifetime of teasing. Plus it sounds like something out of the Hunger Games books. I just finished reading the new prequel to the series. The names are so distinctive, as appropriate for some bizarre futuristic world, I guess. PS. I think my parents must have lacked imagination…..I was supposed to be a boy, so Joe became Joni.

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    1. Well, we have that in common Joni because I was supposed to be a girl (Elizabeth, I think). And it’s a shame parents can’t help themselves when new names show up in popular culture. Also British royalty. It’s no coincidence “Charlotte” is a popular name in recent years.

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      1. Charlotte was popular around 1900 according to all the historical fiction I read…..it’s funny how names come in and out of fashion. So you won’t see the girl names I grew up with (Debbie, Susan, Judy, Karen etc) for another 100 years, I’m actually Joan, after all the old movie stars I suspect. Joni is a nickname, as I never liked my name. I always wanted to be a Hailey or a Heather or something a bit less plain. That’s a topic for you to explore….

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  7. Oh for goodness sake – a list of names you CANNOT name your child! I had no idea such a list existed Dave and yes, none of those names should ever be a child’s name! Now it seems to me that back when the movie “Romeo and Juliet” came out in the late 60s, Olivia Hussey, who was the young female lead, was very popular and I remember all the girls/women wanted to be like her and probably named their firstborn child after her at that time. Linda was a popular name in the mid-50s and I had five close girlfriends the last year of high school and three of the six of us had the moniker of “Linda” and all spelled this way.

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    1. Your final comment is a good addition to this information, Linda. Parents take “normal” names and change the spelling just so their child stands out, not thinking about the inconveniences as they grow up. Linda becomes “Lynda”, Kelly becomes “Kelli”, and so on. You’re setting your child up for a lifetime of correcting other people’s spelling.

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      1. I’ve seen some really bizarre spellings of common names which makes no sense to me. You’re lucky your last name is so easy to pronounce. I hated the first day of school through the years as the teachers butchered my name, adding a “w” in there to make it sound like Charles Schwab.

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  8. I had no idea there was a list of illegal names, but should have figured. There are plenty of strange legal ones. We chose conservative Biblical names, figuring they would not go too far out of style. Maybe we were wrong about our prediction.

    I once heard about somebody who wanted to change his name legally to Lord Durak. I don’t know if he accomplished that or not.

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  9. Dave, I love it when you give us these little factoids I wouldn’t likely come across otherwise. Thank you. So well written, and congrats on the new grandbaby. 🙂

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