Flying Fur

When we take our aging dog for a drive, we go through a set routine to get him on board.  Prop the back passenger door of the truck wide open and position the homemade ramp against the threshold.  Get him into a running start so his momentum carries him up the ramp and onto the seat.  And don’t forget the water bucket, a couple of large poop bags, and a leash that doubles as a lead line for a horse.  With all that in mind I can’t imagine ever getting our St. Bernard onto an airplane.

You’re seeing furry friends on passenger laps more frequently these days (which creates a delightful image with a St. Bernard) so perhaps it’s no surprise to read about a commercial airline designed for “dog-first travel”.  BARK Air completed its inaugural flight last week from New York City to Los Angeles, hosting six dogs, six owners, four flight crew, and BARK Air’s CEO.  The ticket for each dog + owner cost an I-can’t-afford-it $6,000.  One way.

BARK Air’s mantra is “… to deliver a white-paw experience” and my jaw didn’t drop much when I read into the details.  Your dog only has to be leashed on takeoff and landing; otherwise he/she is free to romp around the plane and socialize with the other dogs and humans.  Your dog receives treats, toys, and calming scents and sounds along the way.  And “potty time” is anywhere – anywhere your dog wants it to be on the airplane.  The flight crew is trained to be at the ready for clean-up after every “accident”.  Would you want that job ?

I can see how BARK Air appeals to the one-percenters.  For the money they can’t seem to spend fast enough, they and their dogs fly in style instead of on “people planes” with the rest of us commoners.  Their dogs travel off-leash instead of in crates, which BARK Air speaks to repeatedly in its advertising.  In fact, BARK Air’s CEO traveled in a dog crate the entire inaugural flight, a nod I suppose, to their “dog-first travel” slogan.

Pretending to be rich/famous, I decided to book our St. Bernard and me on one of BARK Air’s New York-Paris flights next month.  I figured, why not take our boy to France, then on to Switzerland, where he could strap on a barrel of brandy, meet up with a bunch of other St. Bernards, and frolic in the Alpine snow?

The booking process was easier than I expected.  A few clicks on the website and BARK Air was ready to accept the $6,000 for me and my St. Bernard to fly.  Okay, so Paris isn’t one of their options yet (that’ll cost $8,000 when it is) but of the four flights in June, two were sold out and two were about half-full, so clearly dog lovers are going for the concept.  And unlike hotels, BARK Air doesn’t have the weight limit my St. Bernard always exceeds.

Still, I just can’t picture it.  My St. Bernard wouldn’t be coaxed, let alone be able to navigate that narrow steep ramp up onto the plane.  His constant panting would drown out BARK Air’s calming sounds.  His drool would be flung onto every other dog and passenger after he slurps from his water bucket.  And no amount of BARK Air’s calming scents could cleanse his breath, which my wife and I still back away from after all these years.

We’re heading out on a two-week trip today, leaving our big boy behind for my daughter to take care of.  Gonna miss him big-time, which is probably why BARK Air somewhat appeals to me, crazy-expensive as it is.  But our St. Bernard’s in good hands while we’re gone, and he’ll do an adorably clumsy doggy dance when we walk back through our door.  Yep, I’ll leave BARK Air’s dog-first seats to someone else. Maybe I’ll reconsider when they start flying to Switzerland.

I’ll be back in touch after our vacation.

Some content sourced from the NPR article, “Air travel has gone to the dogs – literally…”, and the BARK Air website.

Author: Dave

Five hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word. View all posts by Dave