Losing Sleep (and other things)

So…. yesterday morning I misplaced my wife. Woke up and for Pete’s sake I couldn’t find her anywhere.  I swear she was right next to me the night before – dinner, tv, that sort of thing – but yesterday morning… nope, no wife.  Somehow losing her didn’t cause me too much pause so I went about my morning routine.  Stood in front of the mirror bleary-eyed brushing my teeth (and sometimes my face) before it finally dawned on me.  My wife had a late-morning appointment a couple hours’ drive away.  She had to leave at sun-up. I knew this Tuesday night. I did not know this Wednesday morning.  At least I remembered I have a wife, right?

Were you as sleep-deprived as I was after Tuesday night?  I had a few slip-ups yesterday to assure me it would be one of those days. After losing my wife I dropped my electric toothbrush mid-brush and just stared while it vibrated in little circles on the floor.  Then I cracked an egg on the edge of my coffee cup and almost dropped the egg into the coffee instead of the frying pan. When I moved the laundry from the washer to the dryer, I felt the need to check the lint screen twice before starting the load (I never check the lint screen).  You get the idea.  It was gonna be a fun-zone kinda day in my world.

[I’m fading in and out as I type thisssssssssssssssss…  <WAKE UP!!!> …. whoops… (wipes hand across face).  Yawn.  Okay… I’m back now.]

Actually, zoning out works well for let-it-flow writing; keeps it casual right? I was sleep-deprived because I watched too much election coverage Tuesday night. Turned on the TV just before dinner and turned it off six hours later, probably same as you. Once you realized the consensus wasn’t coming anytime soon you chose sleep instead of states.  And speaking of states, little red and blue ones danced in circles in my brain.  Like sheep over fences.  You’d think that’d help me fall asleep.

Only I couldn’t sleep (could you?) I tossed, turned, punched the pillow, stared up at the ceiling, but couldn’t knock out no matter what I tried.  I read a chapter on my Kindle, good for getting drowsy.  I let the dog out and for once, waited awhile at the door until he came back in.  Took a few laps around the house just to add to my step count.  Nothing worked.

The celebration might have to wait a few more days…

Maybe I had “election anxiety”. You know, where you’re not feeling quite right leading up to the count?  You figure it has something to do with the election but what, exactly? I voted for one candidate over the other like everybody else, but weeks ago I made peace with either outcome (a very Aquarius thing to do). Now here we are Thursday with the outcome a few states away from definitive. Do I still have election anxiety?  No (thank goodness).  “Annie” was right.  “The sun’ll come up… tomorrow…”.  It’s technically the day after tomorrow and the sun came up both days.

I usually fall asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow so now (for a few conscious minutes anyway) I have a couple theories on what went haywire Tuesday night.  One, my deep conscience convinced me the election outcome would be decided in the middle of the night (hence the iPhone by my bedside, hence the every-hour check of the results). Two, I went from six hours of staring at a big-screen television to… bed. I never do that. I wind down with a little light reading instead. So it’s true what they say: “Power down devices an hour before hitting the hay, or wide-eyed and restless you will lay”.  (Okay, they don’t really say that.)

Yesterday I made it all the way to noon without passing out – small miracle after my short night.  Took me two cups of coffee and a full breakfast to get that far.  Mid-afternoon I thought I’d be breaking out the peanut M&M’s to power through (junk food always beckons when I’m tired).  In fact, I was so tired I felt like I’d drop face down in my cereal bowl.  Cereal bowl… wait… I had eggs yesterday morning, didn’t I?  What day is this?  What time is it?  I’m so confused.  I should go take a nap and… and… and… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Author: Dave

Four hundred posts would suggest I have something to say… This blog was born from a desire to elevate the English language, highlighting eloquent words from days gone by. The stories I share are snippets of life itself, and each comes with a bonus: a dusted-off word I hope you’ll go on to use more often. Read “Deutschland-ish Improvements” to learn about my backyard European wish list. Try “Slush Fun” for the throwback years of the 7-Eleven convenience store. Or drink in "Iced Coffee" to discover the plight of the rural French cafe. On the lighter side, read "Late Night Racquet Sports" for my adventures with our latest moth invasion. As Walt Whitman said, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Here then, my verse. Welcome to Life In A Word.

17 thoughts on “Losing Sleep (and other things)”

  1. Our county has said they won’t release results till 10/16 because of so many mail in ballots so we’ve adopted an “ignore it till next week” policy.

    Kind of works – takes the stress in smaller bites. But now I am thinking of places I can drive two hours to get to.

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    1. If I recall you’re a Nevada guy now. No matter the election result it’s nice to see a “small state” play a critical role down the stretch. Makes me hopeful Colorado will be that state in a future election (with our measly 9 electoral votes).

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      1. I’m a Nevada guy. With more Californians moving here, the politics here is changing. I think we’ll see that trend as people are priced out of the coastal areas and need to move inland.

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  2. I slept poorly Tuesday night and it isn’t even my country! I think the whole world is waiting….and waiting…..and waiting. The advantage of being retired is being able to take a nap.

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  4. This was so funny! I’ve had a tough week too, but I didn’t almost put my egg in my coffee. Instead I was making espresso coffee in my Italian Bialetti machine. Half asleep… I put the water in, but forgot to add the coffee. I kept wondering why my machine wasn’t percolating with the coffee. I ruined the rubber gasket. Never do that again. Then I took my contacts out, put them in the case and forgot to put disinfectant solution over them. It’s been a WEIRD week! I’m with you on that!

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  6. Nice one, Dave! I’m sleeping OK, but my wife (who reliably seems to be there when I wake up each morning) wasn’t doing quite as well. As of Friday, though, it all seems to be over but for the shouting, as they say (and, this year, people seem to be taking that literally).

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    1. It’s true, especially those peanut M&M’s. The best solution is to simply not have any junk food in the house at all. That’s how I keep my ice cream consumption to a reasonable amount 🙂

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  8. Peanut M&Ms revive me as well … pfft as to that notion that candy or coffee give you a big burst of energy to keep going until it’s time for bed. I have been known to nod off at my computer while at work (I work at home, so no apologies to anyone around me for doing so) or even proofreading my own stuff! Finally the election kerfuffle is over (I think). I can’t vote as I’m a Canuck but living in the U.S. since 1966. Yes, I am a big procrastinator. 🙂

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    1. Wow, so you’ve been away from your country all but four years of my life! I must say, I enjoyed Canada each of the three times I visited. Once in college (to Windsor, just long enough to have a couple of drinks in a bar). Once to Montreal on business. And once on the Royal Canadian Pacific (train) for several days, starting in Calgary and touring the Canadian Rockies. Switzerland aside, Banff and Lake Louise were one of the most picturesque settings I’ve ever seen.

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      1. Yes, I’ve been away from my country a very long time. My father transferred over here from Ford of Oakville to Ford of Woodhaven. He had no relatives as he was from Germany, but my mom was close to her mother and had good friends – he was happy to move here and promised my mom we’d go back, but that never happened. I’ve not been back to Canada since my grandmother died in 1986 – I have no living relatives there or here in the States. Since the Patriot Act, we need a passport to cross the border and now the borders are closed due to the pandemic as you probably know. I had thought I might get dual citizenship, but never went through with it. I have read about that beautiful trip by rail through Calgary and the Rockies and I would like to take it one day (hopefully), after I’m retired. I used to travel with various tour groups in the late 70s/early 80s, but have not traveled in a while. My friends were not interested in traveling so I went with tour groups myself. I have also seen ads for picturesque train trips on the East Coast during peak fall foliage time … I think rail travel is the way to go. I took a tour in 1983 to four Scandinavian countries and a week in Russia and we did a lot of train travel.

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      3. Thankfully no, Margy. The train trip was fifteen years ago, with my extended family to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Spectacular country up there.

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